Moments
by Naisa
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy was not like the other Death Eaters. Life changing moments tarnish her perfect world and tragic events will leave her desperate to protect her son, whatever the cost. But as events begin to spiral out of control, Narcissa will find herself doubting her decisions in life, her loved ones and what she is really fighting for. These are the secrets of Narcissa Malfoy.
1. 1978: The Silence

_Hi everyone!_

_So, this is a rather spontaneous idea I had when re-reading the Harry Potter books and I realised we don't know that much about the life of Lucius Malfoy's wife, Narcissa. I feel there is definitely something different about her, she was never truly a Death Eater, and although most of her family members were incredibly loyal to Voldemort, it was she who ultimately killed him by lying to him that Harry was dead. This is my idea of why that might have been, by looking at the most significant moments in her life._

_I've not written a Harry Potter fic before and the first chapter in particular is something that never happens or mentioned in the books, but for some reason the idea came to me as a way to see the other side of Narcissa and what would start the chain reaction which would change her life and eventually lead to her betraying the Dark Lord._

_I'm not quite sure about this story as it was again a spontaneous idea, so please let me know if you would like to read more._

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Chapter 1

1978

The Silence

Narcissa had known this silence before. The Silence of Death she called it. It hung in the air all around, the world suddenly became eerie, the room filled with people empty, because someone had left this world forever. A life had been taken, and had been replaced by this terrible silence, a silence that followed you around, that could not be broken no matter how hard you tried. Narcissa remembered the first time she saw someone before her die, another countless victim of Voldemort's, she held no emotion towards the muggle who had died, but she couldn't shake off the silence. She named it then the Silence of Death, and now it had returned, she felt this time it would never leave. Her world was tumbling down with the Silence of Death.

She lay in her hospital bed, watching one of the nurses take away what anyone else would think was just a bundle of blankets, but it was something much, much more to Narcissa, and worse of all, it was the source of the silence.

Lucius was speaking to another nurse in a low voice, asking for some privacy. The nurse nodded and left, leaving the two of them alone. Lucius came back to stand by his wife's bed, the silence surrounding them.

Narcissa stared down at her hands, couldn't look up at her husband, because she knew what she would see. Those same cold, hard eyes that Lucius always held. He never gave away any emotion, not even now. It was a few seconds before he spoke to her, in a voice that was uncharacteristically soft.

"Did they tell you? It was a girl."

Narcissa nodded, tears blurring her vision as she thought over these words. She had always wanted a girl. She had been so happy, thinking that she would soon be with child, and her and Lucius and tried for so long, but a few hours ago she had felt a great pain in her stomach and knew something was wrong. Now everything was lost.

Narcissa felt something breaking inside her, as she stared down at her bed sheets. Her stone heart she had taken so much pride in was cracking. She could almost feel blood oozing from the broken stone shell that had once protected her heart, her lungs were filled with lead and her stomach turnd into a bottomless pit. She couldn't think straight, her mind was engulfed by sorrow, she could hardly believe this was happening, it was a nightmare.

A nightmare she would never wake up from.

As Narcissa sat in her hospital bed, the world around her was changing. The Dark Lord was growing in power day by day, more people fell to their knees at his feet, or fell dead. Muggles and wizards alike were living in a reign of terror, while the Black and Malfoy family basked in its glory. Being allies with Voldemort, things had never been better for their families, as they gained more and more power as the muggles and lesser wizarding families were steadily being crushed. Magic was might.

But now Narcissa was the one who was being crushed. She wondered if it was working alongside Voldemort that made the fates curse her to lose this child. Her baby girl.

_Not even magic could save her,_ Narcissa thought to herself.

Never before had she faced such doubt about what she was doing with her life, about the decisions she had made and the man who was standing beside her. Oh, her family were so proud when Lucius proposed to her, it was the perfect match, two such old and powerful wizarding families coming together, and Narcissa had been thrilled by the marriage too, for Lucius was her childhood sweetheart. They had met and fallen in love at Hogwarts, bonding together with the beliefs of the great Sailzar Slytherin. Now all of those beliefs seemed pointless, she felt they had been turned to dust, and the great man who she had married was standing still as a statue beside her, not knowing what to do or say that could help his wife, not even showing an emotion in his eyes with the news that his child was dead.

All of a sudden, Narcissa wanted nothing more than to get away from this place. She wanted out of this bed and this hospital. Everything was too neat, too clean, too quiet, while inside she wanted to scream, inside she had fallen to pieces and everything was chaos. She wanted to get away from the man who stood beside her, the man who suddenly seemed so cold and uncaring to her, and she hated him for it. She wanted to get away from the world where magic was supposed to be so mighty yet had let an innocent, unborn child die. She wanted her sister back, Andromeda, the sister who had managed to escape this world and who she missed so much, now more than ever. Narcissa wanted nothing more than to escape.

But the thing she needed to escape from was her own mind. She felt unable to cope with such loss, devastated that the world had turned against her and everything was turning to ash before her eyes. She would never escape that by running.

"Narcissa?"

Lucius' voice broke through the silence. Narcissa suddenly realised she was sitting bolt upright in bed, her eyes screwed shut and her hands clenched so tightly into fits her fingernails were cutting into the palm of her hands. Her legs were drawn up to her stomach, as if in an attempt to curl into a foetal position, but the rest of her body was too rigid to comply. The pain in her hands suddenly came to her and her body ached all over as she opened her eyes, blinking in the bright light, staring down with surprise at her contorted body.

"I'll get a nurse..." Lucius began, fearing for a moment she was about to have some sort of fit. But Narcissa shook her head.

"No, no Lucius I'm fine." Narcissa said quickly, her voice croaking and cracking as if she hadn't spoken in weeks. The last thing she wanted was to attract any attention. The nurses here were kind and considerate, but she didn't want anyone peering into her eyes, poking her with a wand to see what was wrong with her and badgering her with questions. She wanted to be left alone.

Narcissa took deep breaths, and managed to calm down a little. The world didn't seem so much of a hateful place now, but it was still hostile. She still held everything around her with deep hatred, as if it caused the death of her child.

"Do you need anything?" Lucius asked.

Narcissa shook her head silently. She had lost the ability to speak again. She didn't know what she wanted, she wanted peace and quiet so she could think, yet she wanted noise and life so she didn't feel so lost and alone, so she could take her mind off the emptiness inside her. She wanted to be in Lucius' arms and yet at the same time she wanted to send him away. She wanted to ask the nurses for help but wanted them to leave her alone as well. She was totally lost.

Lucius however assumed that Narcissa wanted to keep her silence, so remained quiet, leaving his wife to her thoughts.

Different emotions came to Narcissa in waves as the silent minutes passed, and hit her with the force of a tsunami. First came the disbelief that the child she had been waiting for for so long was lost. Then came despair as she realised that she would never be able to hold her baby again, for she was already gone. More hatred for the world overcame her, and the desperation to escape. Narcissa even felt a small flicker of hope that perhaps there was a mistake, and at any moment a nurse would come in again, smiling and laughing, saying her daughter was alive and healthy after all, and Narcissa would be able to hold her child tight and never let her go. Then came the terrible realisation that that would never happen, as time ticked by and no nurse returned with a crying baby. This left Narcissa with a wave of emptiness.

Finally, Narcissa slumped back onto her pillows, exhausted. Feeling so many emotions in such a short space of time had drained her, and all of a sudden she felt incredibly tired.

A screech owl suddenly fluttered to the hospital window, breaking the silence Narcissa wasn't sure how long she had been lying in. Lucius strode over to it and opened the window, sending a icy breeze into the room. He took the piece of parchment from the owl which flew off again at once.

"Your sister will be coming soon." Lucius said, standing beside her bed again and reading the note.

Narcissa nodded to show she understood, but still found herself unable to speak. There was something blocking her throat, and she felt soon it would start choking her. She imagined Bellatrix bursting into the room, full of her fiery passion, probably cursing everything she could think of that could be blamed for the loss of her niece, then trying to offer comfort to her dear sister, but Bellatrix was not one for providing sympathy or comfort. Narcissa wanted to see her sister, who she was so close too, but at the same time she felt if Bellatrix could do anything to the situation, she would make things worse. Again Narcissa longed to see Andromeda again, so much more caring, who would be able to take her hand and look into Narcissa's eyes and somehow tell her how sorry she was and she was there for her without saying a word. Narcissa wouldn't be afraid to cry in front of Andromeda.

But Andromeda wasn't there for her, because her own family had turned her away.

Lucius shifted uncomfortably beside Narcissa, he was getting restless and tired of the silence that would not leave the room. He looked down at his wife who refused to look into his eyes, she could tell he was desperate to say something to break the Silence of Death, but she knew there were no words he could say that could possibly make the situation any better, that could heal the numbness inside her.

"It's not the end Narcissa, we can try for another baby, this is not our last chance."

Narcissa didn't respond. It was one of the worse things Lucius could have possibly said to her. Yes, it may not be the end for the two of them, but it was the end for her daughter. A baby girl who never got the chance to even open her eyes, whose years were stolen away from her before she could even start them. They could try for another baby, but Narcissa would never get the same daughter she had lost, who had every opportunity in the world to become whoever she wanted, but the world had taken that all away from her. She looked up at her husband and for the first time in her life felt nothing but hatred as she gazed into his cold eyes. He didn't see it as the end, because the world would keep turning without hesitation for what had just happened, but for Narcissa, it felt like the end of the world, just like it was for her child. There were no second chances for her daughter.

And through all the grief and the silence, something deep down told Narcissa that something had changed that day, something that would echo throughout the years. She wasn't sure what, but she knew nothing would ever be the same again.

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_Thanks for reading! Again, if you'd like to see this continued, please let me know._


	2. 1980: Draco

_Thanks for everyone's feedback to this story so far. I've had a think and have decided to carry it on, I have too many ideas to leave this as a one shot and it's something a little different to what I usually write, so why not? :) Anyway I hope you enjoy this next chapter!_

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Chapter 2

1980

Draco

Narcissa had never been so relieved to hear a baby crying. She had spent the past nine months living in elation but also in terrible fear. She couldn't believe it could be possible that she was having another baby, it was too good to be true. The doctors and midwife kept on telling her that the baby was fine, but she found it so hard to trust them, in her darkest moments she thought that perhaps the baby was already dead and they were lying to her, she hated living in such paranoia.

One night as she watched a storm rage outside her bedroom window, sixth months into her pregnancy, Narcissa realised this was what the rest of the world must be feeling as the Dark Lord grew stronger and stronger. There were many like her who probably couldn't sleep at night because they were worried for their children, was that any way to live, even for those she saw as dirt on the bottom of her shoe? She never dared breath a word about these thoughts to Lucius though, who seemed a lot more confident about them having a healthy baby this time, and waved her worries away with a casual flick of his hand whenever she tried to mention them.

Narcissa's first thought as she was brought out of her magic-induced sleep, was that Lucius was right, there was nothing to fear. She dimly remembered the times at Hogwarts, when they would have a playful argument about something, and she'd act so annoyed when she found out Lucius was right all along, and he would laugh. Not a cold laugh, but a laugh full of colour and playfulness as she declared him official 'know it all'. Narcissa swore his eyes were not always so cold as his laugh was now.

At this moment, she saw Lucius walk over to her through her still hazy vision holding a bundle of crying blankets, with a broad grin on his face that reminded her once again of their childhood years together. She didn't remember the last time he had looked so happy.

"It's a boy." He told her as the baby's cries quietened.

Narcissa matched his grin as she tried to sit up in the bed and see her new born son, but her midwife standing beside her bed placed a gentle yet firm hand on her shoulder. "Slow down Mrs Malfoy, you will still be feeling quite drowsy and maybe a little dizzy for a time, you haven't been awake long, just lie still for a moment."

For the first time, Narcissa regretted not having her baby in a natural way. She had what she supposed would be the muggle equivalent of a Cesarean section because she didn't want to take any risks when delivering the baby, and the midwife agreed that this would probably be a safer way. She had chosen to be put to sleep while it happened, so she wouldn't have to lie there, strangers surrounding her and talking in murmurs as they cut her open, waiting to hear them say if the baby was alive or not. However now she wished she had been awake, so she was not the first thing the baby saw, and she would have heard its first cries.

Still, it was a small price to pay to make sure that this time her child was alive and healthy. "Did everything go OK?" She asked.

The midwife smiled, "Everything went just as planned, you have a healthy baby boy."

"Can I hold him?" Narcissa asked, holding out her arms, a dreamy smile on her face, her heart not quite believing that at last she was a mother, and she felt she would only be sure this was happening when the baby was resting in her arms. The midwife nodded, and Lucius handed over Narcissa's baby, she cradled the bundle of blankets in her hands, looking down at her newborn. "Hello my son," she said in a small whisper.

"I'll give you two some privacy," the midwife said quietly. Lucius nodded gratefully, but Narcissa hardly noticed she had left the room, she was entranced by the little one she was holding.

A pair of grey eyes stared back up at her, her son's face had been screwed up from crying only a few minutes ago, but now he looked a lot calmer, even curious, staring up at the face which was staring down at him. His skin was bright pink and there was a small amount of blond hair upon his head. Her son's little feet squirmed a little inside the blankets, and a pair of tiny hands emerged from them slightly. Narcissa could count ten perfect fingers and thumbs, everything about this little one was perfect. She held out her little finger and one of his little hands closed around it, Narcissa thought her heart was going to burst with joy as the beautiful grey eyes continued to stare up at her.

"He has your eyes," Narcissa said, managing to tear her eyes off her baby and look up at her husband.

Lucius smiled, "He has your beauty."

Narcissa couldn't have felt any different than she had last time she was sitting in a hospital bed, almost two years ago. She felt as if her stone heart had disappeared entirely, though she didn't care, because it had been replaced with a feeling of absolute joy. She didn't feel weighed down with lead, she felt so light and happy it was a wonder she hadn't started floating away. Her stomach was not a bottomless pit, it was filled with butterflies dancing around and she felt like laughing out loud because she was so happy. She couldn't take the grin off her face, she couldn't stop staring at the little one in front of her. The world wasn't dark, it was bright and full of life, everything was perfect.

But looking down at her little baby, Narcissa couldn't help being reminded of the one she lost over a year ago. She had never had the chance to hold her little girl, her daughter. She would not trade the son she had in her arms for anything, but that didn't mean she didn't wish she could tell her son how pleased his sister will be to see him, and think about how they'd play together as they grew older. But the little one in her arms would never know his sister who never had the chance to open her eyes.

All of a sudden the feeling of joy evaporated, and Narcissa felt lost and alone once more. Every day she thought about the little girl she lost and still missed her terribly, this day was no different. A tear suddenly fell down Narcissa's cheek before she could stop it. She knew Lucius would assume it was a tear of joy, and it was, but it was also a tear of sadness. She was crying for both of her children.

Only this one, the baby she was holding right now, was happy and healthy and alive as anything, and she would not let him go. She looked down at her son and made a silent promise that she would protect him, she would be the loving and caring mother he deserved, she wanted to make up for the baby she had lost. Some of her family might scorn her, thinking that discipline is the best way to bring up a child, but she wouldn't care, because this was her baby, not theirs, and she would never let him down.

"Can I hold him again?" Lucius asked tentatively.

Narcissa had almost forgotten her husband was standing there she was so engrossed with her baby, but she looked up and saw a smile of pride and joy on his face, and smiled back. It was his baby too. "Of course," she said, gently handing the baby back up to him.

It was the closest Narcissa thought she had come to seeing Lucius cry, his voice actually shook as he looked down at their baby. "My son...our little boy," Lucius murmured, but other than that he was lost for words. For the first time she saw the relief on his face that their child was born safely, it was some comfort to know that he had been worried too, if only he had shared his feelings with her.

Narcissa smiled and rested her head against the pillows, eyes closing. She was still recovering from the sleeping draught and felt exhausted. But she knew she could sleep peacefully now, because she had a baby, and everything had gone to plan for a change. The feeling of happiness began creeping back as she thought of all the days she could spend with her newborn son.

But then Lucius said something that made Narcissa's eyes snap open again. "The Dark Lord will be pleased."

He spoke quietly, but the words echoed deafeningly through Narcissa's head. She said nothing, just nodding, unable to explain or understand the tight knot that had suddenly appeared in her stomach. Something felt wrong. Was it because now she feared Lucius was only happy they had a child because it was another soldier for Voldemort's army? Was she afraid that the Dark Lord would ruin their joys of having a baby, by saying he didn't approve of them starting a family at such a time, or that the baby should be taken away from them and brought up by another Death Eater? Was it because deep down the thought of Voldemort always struck Narcissa with fear, and this was simply another reminder that they were living in a world at war, not one she would want to bring up a child.

Truth be told, it was all three. Narcissa hated the thought of the name of her child and the Dark Lord's in the same sentence, but there was something else as well, something nagging at the back of Narcissa's head.

The feeling of elation had faded again as Narcissa tried to work out what was troubling her so. She couldn't quite grasp it, it was shrouded in fog in her mind. She wondered if it was merely a great mixture of emotions, with a child being born and the Dark Lord ruling over them, that made her feel suddenly so nervous. But then she realised what it was.

It was a feeling of forboding.

Narcissa looked up at her husband and her baby, and felt the knot tighten in her stomach. Yes, something was very wrong, or something was about to go very wrong. They were living in a time where pure blood wizards were mighty and they had a leader who was invincible. Narcissa didn't know why though, but she had a feeling this golden age for them would not be lasting much longer.

At that point the midwife came in again, and brought Narcissa back to reality.

"How is everyone?" The midwife asked gently, looking round at the three of them.

Narcissa smiled, "Fine," she said quietly, though she didn't quite believe herself.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" The midwife asked.

Narcissa and Malfoy glanced at each other. They had thought of names, much to Narcissa's concern, as she feared that planning so far ahead would jinx their chances of having a healthy baby. But now their child was born and everything was fine, they had decided on a name they could call a son.

Narcissa gave another smile as she looked up at her baby again, still in the arms of his father. "Draco."

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_I had planned for the next chapter to go straight on to Draco's first year at Hogwarts in the next chapter, but now I'm thinking instead maybe making it about the fall of the Dark Lord and Malfoys' reaction to it. What do you think? Please let me know if that's something you'd like to read :)_


	3. 1981: The Fall

Chapter 3

1981

The Fall

There was a flash of blinding light outside the darkened window, followed almost immediately by a great roar as if a dragon was circling the Malfoy mansion. It made Narcissa almost leap out of her chair with surprise, but she quickly composed herself, as if there was someone else in the room with her. She focused on the fire crackling merrily in the grand fireplace, but it was being drowned out by the constant drumming of rain against the window, as if thousands of tiny fists were trying to break their way into the room. Despite the huge fire, Narcissa felt cold and she wrapped a shawl tighter around her shoulders.

_This damn weather will be bound to wake Draco soon,_ she thought to herself, glancing out the windows, but the rain obliterated everything from sight. She didn't want to go to Draco's room and disturb him, it had taken her hours that night to try and get her child to sleep, but at the same time she didn't want to leave him alone in the storm. There was no sound of crying however, which meant the storm wasn't disturbing him so far, and she told herself to check on him in a few minutes if the storm didn't lessen.

What Narcissa was more worried about however was the fact that Lucius was somewhere, out there in the storm. She didn't know where he had gone or how long he would be, but she would stay up all night if she had to, just to make sure her husband came home safely. She was bitterly annoyed Lucius hadn't told her where he had gone, she would be much more comforted if he had given her more information, but whenever he did something for or connected to the Dark Lord, it was often shrouded in mystery. The more people who knew, the more dangerous his mission could become, and that included his wife.

Another blinding flash of lightning and huge rumble of thunder. This was the worst storm Narcissa had experienced in years, everyone had known something big was coming, the unusually warm weather was being taken over by dark storm clouds, growing and growing every day until they were at the point of bursting. They had chosen tonight to release all their power.

Narcissa glanced around the room, trying to think of something to do to put her mind off the raging thunderstorm and her missing husband. There were a pile of old, faded books close by her armchair, but her mind felt too distracted for reading. She glanced up and observed the portrait of an ancient Malfoy, wearing the finest black robes with a constant frown on his face, but he was currently sleeping quite happily through the storm and Narcissa knew he would not be happy if she woke him up just for some company.

Narcissa was just about to force her stiff and tired body out of the chair so she could go and check on Draco, when there was another crack, not from the thunderstorm outside, but in the room. She jumped up immediately, wand at the ready, sure that someone apparating into her house at this time of day with this weather would be up to no good. But it was only Lucius.

Narcissa was about to breathe a sigh of relief and chide her husband for coming back so late, when she saw the look on his face.

Lucius was standing there, his cloak soaked through, his hair was dishevelled and dripping water onto the floor. He was more pale than usual, and his eyes were wide with shock. He opened his mouth once or twice to try to say something, but no words could come out. Narcissa noticed his hands were shaking. She had never seen her husband scared before, but tonight he was standing before her, absolutely terrified.

"What is it?" She asked quickly. The rain outside was still pouring down, but it seemed to quieten, as if it too was waiting for an answer.

It took a while for Lucius to answer, he cleared his throat several times before murmuring, in a voice that sounded parched with thirst, "The Dark Lord, he's, he's...gone."

"Gone?" Narcissa repeated with a snap, already losing her patience. She had spent long nights and days taking care of her baby, and then spent this one sitting up worried and alone about her husband, who had returned to give her nothing but a cryptic message. "What do you mean, _gone_?"

Lucius shrugged, it seemed he didn't fully understand it either. "He's just...gone." He repeated helplessly.

"He's not...dead, is he?" Narcissa dared to ask. She felt a strange jolt in her stomach, because such a thing was not comprehensible. Everyone thought the Dark Lord was indestructible and he was becoming more powerful than ever, there was no wizard on Earth that could kill him...or was there?

But Lucius shook his head. "I...I don't think so. But he's," he swallowed, the next sentence seemed very difficult for him to say. "He's been destroyed."

There was a terrible pause. Lightning flashed outside the window once more and the thunder grumbled angrily as the rain continued its merciless attack on the window. Narcissa realised she was sitting back in her chair, but she didn't know how she had got there, she stared up at her husband. "How, how could he be destroyed? That's not possible!" She finally managed to say.

But Lucius just shrugged hopelessly. "I have no idea. Last thing I heard, he had found out where the Potters were, and he was going to find them. Then I just heard news that he's disappeared. He's lost all his powers Narcissa, he's lost everything apart from his life and he's fled. Nobody knows where, no one knows what to do."

Narcissa didn't know what to say to this, she was too busy battling two very strong emotions inside her. One of them was fear. They had lived their life under the Dark Lord, lived to serve him, hiding safely in his shadow and bathing in the sun of his glory. They saw no future in front of them apart from one that involved the Dark Lord, and then in one night that had all been destroyed. They were completely at a loss without him, without his orders and without his security. They didn't even know if he was alive or dead, the whole world would turn against them now he was gone.

But the other emotion Narcissa was feeling, was relief. There was no denying it, whether you were on the Dark Lord's side or not, he was terrifying. One mistake and he would have you rolling around screaming in agony while he laughed, or he would just kill you without even thinking twice about it. Narcissa had seen it happen, and she was grateful that maybe she never would again. She was also relieved for Draco, she did not want her son to be brought up in the middle of a war, and even though it was their side which lost, at least it was over. Of course Narcissa would never admit it to anyone, but deep down she knew she was _glad_ the Dark Lord had gone.

However that didn't mean the Malfoy family was out of trouble, if they didn't play their cards right they could end up in Azkaban, and Narcissa would not let Draco lose his parents. Fear for the future overtook the feeling of relief as Narcissa thought this.

"What do we do now?" She murmured, her voice could only just be heard over the thunderstorm, her throat had suddenly become very dry and it was difficult to talk. She didn't know how long they had been standing in silence while she battled with the conflicting feelings inside her head.

Lucius thought for a moment, then came to a conclusion and tried to wipe the fear from his face. "I will return to the Ministry. We will pretend we were another innocent family caught in the Dark Lord's merciless web and have only now been able to break free. Plenty of wizards have already fled back to the side of Mudbloods and Muggles, claiming they were under the Imperious curse. We can do the same."

Narcissa couldn't help but pull a face, the one that made her look like there was dung floating just under her nose. She hadn't considered that escape from the Dark Lord's net would mean going back to the world where Mudbloods were treated as equals and Muggles were accepted. Since she could remember she had been taught how the world would be a much better place if these two types of people were crushed into the dirt. Only Andromeda thought otherwise, and she paid a heartbreaking price for taking the side of a Muggle.

Still, it was worth it if it meant Draco would grow up in a world at peace.

"Do you think we can be convincing enough to be believed?" She asked.

"No," Lucius admitted, he looked a little calmer now their future seemed a little clearer. The fear had disappeared from his eyes but the worry had not. "I think they will be foolish enough to believe us."

There was a pause. Narcissa nodded as she pictured her new future falling into place. This was how it would be for them now, her husband working in the Ministry, right under the nose of the Minister, pretending they were a normal family living a normal life. It was a risk, but they could pull it off, after all, what choice did they have? Her only thought was now on the wellbeing of her son, and if this protected Draco, that was good enough for her.

At that point, there was the sound of crying from upstairs, the two of them glanced silently up at the ceiling where Draco was lying in his cot.

"I better go and see to him," Narcissa said quietly, turning and making her way out the room.

The storm was calming a little as she made her way upstairs. Narcissa knew it must be nearing midnight now, soon tomorrow would come and a new day would dawn for her family, she just didn't know what it might bring.

* * *

_So I decided to look at the Malfoy's reaction to Voldemort's downfall. I thought it would be interesting to know how a Death Eater would react - fear, panic, anger, maybe even relief. What do you think?_

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, next one will be Draco's first year at Hogwarts._

_Please review :)_


	4. 1991: The Letter

_IMPORTANT AN: We're now moving on to look at significant moments in Narcissa's life when Draco is at Hogwarts, and I have recently come up with the idea that it might be nice if you, the reader, shared your suggestions of specific moments in the books you think changed Narcissa and would like to see in this story, and I can write a chapter on that moment. __I currently only have one 'moment' per book, but I am happy to add more! (If you have an idea for something that happens before the books I can always do a flashback.) So, if you have any ideas you would like to see in this fic please let me know :)_

_Anyway, this isn't the best chapter so far and was hoping to get it updated sooner, but I hope you like it all the same. Please review and I look forward to hearing your ideas for extra 'moments' if you have any :)_

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Chapter 4

1991

The Letter

Narcissa leaned out the window like an excited child, ignoring the chilly air that bit her pale cheeks in the autumn afternoon, watching the screech owl coming closer and closer. Somehow, she knew what it was carrying, even before she saw the letter held safely in its talons. She could barely hold in her excitement as the owl finally reached the window and deposited the letter into her outstretched hand, her and Lucius' name written across the envelope in Draco's scrawny handwriting.

"Send this back to him," Narcissa said quickly before the owl could fly off again. She grabbed a couple of parcels which had been lying on the windowsill beside her and tied them roughly to the patient owl's foot. It glanced at her once with bright yellow eyes before taking off into the sky once more.

"If you keep sending him sweets every day he's going to get fat," said a voice from behind her.

Narcissa turned and glared at Lucius, who had just looked up from the _Daily Prophet_, trying to disguise the smirk on his face, but she knew that look all too well.

"I just want him to know we haven't forgotten about him, and make sure that he won't get homesick," she said in her defence.

But Lucius just rolled his eyes as he turned back to the newspaper, "He's only been there for a few days Narcissa, give him a chance to get homesick."

"Don't you want to hear what our son has to say then?" Narcissa demanded, holding up the letter.

"Of course I do," Lucius said, although his face was still concealed by his newspaper, "go on then, read his letter."

Narcissa tried not to show her urgency as she tore open the envelope and started reading Draco's letter. The first sentence caused Narcissa to almost cry out with delight. "He's in Slytherin!" She said, looking up at Lucius, her heart filled with pride at this news.

Lucius however, turned a page in his newspaper and did not look up. "As we knew he would be," he said curtly.

Narcissa scowled at her husband, true, she had expected Draco to end up in Slytherin, both her and Lucius' family had mostly ended up in the same House, but it was still a relief and a moment of pride to know that he had been placed in Slytherin. She knew how badly all three of them had wanted it for Draco, but sometimes it seemed as if Lucius didn't really care. She turned back to the letter.

"He's settled in well...he likes the food, though of course it isn't as good as the food at home." Narcissa smiled to herself at these words, and chose to ignore the snort coming from behind the _Daily Prophet_. "He really likes Potions at the moment, Professor Snape teaches it and he's his Head of House too."

"Snape? That must be Severus Snape," Lucius' voice sounded a bit more interested now at these words. They had both known Snape well as a Death Eater, although contact with him had faded rapidly since the fall of the Dark Lord.

"Must be," Narcissa said with a shrug, she continued to scan Draco's letter, until something caught her rather nastily by surprise. "He's in the same year as Potter."

This statement caused Lucius to look over the top of his newspaper, and it was his turn to wear a scowl on his face. "Potter? Not _the _Potter?"

"Seems so," Narcissa muttered, the letter drooping a little in her hand. She hadn't considered that her son would be in the same year, and therefore sharing classes with, the boy who had caused their world to collapse almost eleven years ago. For months she feared about being sent to Azkaban and her son becoming an orphan, thanks to this boy. She ignored the voice in her head that reminded her at the time she was also relieved the Dark Lord had finally been stopped, and continued to read the letter. "Says the boy's already making friends with Mudbloods and blood traitors and is favourites with all the teachers," she added, wrinkling her nose as if the letter had started to smell of dung.

Lucius snorted, "That's not a surprise. We should tell Draco to keep away from that boy, he'll be nothing but trouble."

Narcissa nodded in agreement, Harry Potter certainly didn't sound like the type of boy she would want her Draco to be associated with. She quickly finished reading the letter, there wasn't much more Draco had to say other than he was looking forward to having more lessons and thanking her for the cakes and sweets he had sent her. She smiled to herself, he didn't find the food she sent a joke.

"It sounds like he's going to be happy there," Narcissa said, more to herself than to her husband.

"Yes, I still think Durmstrung would have been a more suitable school for him," Lucius said casually, causing his wife to glare at him once more.

"You know how I feel about that," Narcissa hissed, "I don't want him to be so far away. We don't know what it's truly like there, just because they teach the Dark Arts doesn't mean he'll like the school. No one even knows exactly where Durmstrung is! What if something happened? What if he needed to come home? He would have been so far away!"

Lucius didn't reply, they had had this argument many times before and it seemed he wasn't in the mood to continue it. Narcissa could feel her insides burning with anger though and she gripped the letter tightly in her hand. It seemed her husband didn't understand how she felt having their child so far away and was sure that behind his paper he was probably smirking at how 'emotional' his wife was becoming over what to him was such a trivial thing.

It was hard to believe the man hiding behind his paper smirking was the same man who had been standing in that very same room, almost shaking with fear, his whole life in tatters, almost eleven years ago.

There had been many changes since the fall of the Dark Lord, though in the past year the Malfoys had slipped into a new routine for their lives. Lucius was gaining much respect and status within the Ministry, and his usual confidence was returning. Narcissa couldn't say she didn't enjoy listening into his conversations about Muggle lovers at the Ministry sometimes, but sometimes she found it tedious. Was there nothing else to talk about? Lucius seemed to have forgotten their fears after he started working at the Ministry, that at any moment all their lies would be uncovered and they would be sent straight to Azkaban. Narcissa had given up trying to share her worries and fears with her husband, he was feeling invincible, he thought nothing could go wrong. She just hoped he was right.

In the meantime, Narcissa watched her son grow up. There would be the occasional spat between her and Lucius over the bringing up of their child. Lucius wanted to be strict and be harsh with discipline, believing it would do their son a lot of good. But Narcissa wanted to do nothing else other than spoil her child, he was the greatest gift she had ever been given, and she felt so lucky that she had had been able to hold a living baby in her arms. To her Draco was perfect.

She didn't care if her child would become spoilt because of her, Narcissa only had one regret when it came to Draco: she wished he had an older sister too.

Showering her son with love only made it harder for Narcissa though, when Draco had to leave the sanctuary of Malfoy manor and go to Hogwarts. Everyone was thrilled when Draco got his letter, confirming his place, and Narcissa was happy too, after all, this was best for her son and she had loved being at that school, but that meant he would be leaving her side. She would be left alone as Lucius went to work at the Ministry and Draco lived at Hogwarts. It would not be easy, but she wouldn't give up on sending her son packages of homemade foods every day, even if that meant she had to listen to her husband's mocking.

It was moments like this Narcissa wondered how much Lucius cared for her son. She remembered feeling such passionate love for the man she had married, where had it all gone? Faded with time, with the Dark Lord breathing down their shoulders, and now giving her careless smirks and mocking looks whenever she dared to show a strong emotion.

Narcissa pushed these thoughts to the back of her mind however and convinced herself she was merely thinking these things because she was just missing her son, she was merely taking Lucius' words more to heart than usual because Draco was far away and it was making her upset. She held the letter to her chest, feeling it was the closest she could get to hugging her beloved son. Without looking at Lucius she left the room and went upstairs to their bedroom. Entering the room she went straight to their grand wardrobe next to the bed, pulling it up she bent down and found her precious little carved wooden box in the bottom corner.

She hadn't Lucius about this box, for fear of yet more mocking and disapproving looks, as it contained letters her loved ones had sent to her over the years, the ones she kept so they remained close to her heart. Letters of love from Lucius during her Hogwarts years, her parents repeating how proud they were of her for her successful marriage, words of sisterly love from Bellatrix, even a few from Andromeda, which she pretended never to have kept. Here she put Draco's letter too, and the many others he would send her during his time at Hogwarts.

Narcissa would never forget the words in her son's first letter; her pride of him being placed in Slytherin, his words already showing the disdain he would feel for Harry Potter, his thanks for home cooked food, and how he was already placing his trust in his teacher and old Death Eater, Professor Snape.


	5. 1992: Petrified

_My first request for a moment! We're in Draco's second year now, around the time when pupils have just started to be attacked by the Basilisk, and Draco is not the only Malfoy asking questions about the Chamber of Secrets..._

_This 'moment' submission is from Moon Lantern, I hope you all like it! Don't forget if you have an idea for a moment to share it :)_

_Reviews much appreciated! :) _

Chapter 5

1992

Petrified

Narcissa watched Lucius closely as the night set in, trying to think how to approach the situation best. The fire was lit and crackling happily, but Narcissa felt cold. She had just finished reading through the latest letters from Draco, hoping that she was just being paranoid, she was just looking for trouble in the letters, but there was no denying now something was happening, something bad. And her own husband might be behind it all.

First it started as nothing but rumours about secret chambers and monsters hidden in the castle from Draco, who seemed excited by the news rather than afraid. But then stranger things were happening, children were being attacked, frozen as if turned to stone. They were only Mudbloods as Draco said, they were the 'enemies of the heir', but it wouldn't be long before pupils started dying.

They may only be Mudbloods, but they were still children, no one had the right to attack children, and that included Lucius Malfoy.

"Draco still seems to think you know about these attacks, from what his last letter said," Narcissa told Lucius as casually as possible as she scanned over the last letter Draco had sent her. He had been asking his father in the last few letters if he might know anything about the so-called Chamber of Secrets and who the heir of Slytherin is.

There was a pause, Narcissa looked up at Lucius, but he was staring down at his fingernails and appeared disinterested. "Is that so?" His voice was soft, careless, but there was also something there that told Narcissa he was hiding something.

She decided the easiest way she might be able to find the truth was to just jump into the deep end. "Yes, and so do I." She said harshly.

Another pause, Lucius looked up at her this time. Narcissa could see in his eyes he was making some sort of calculation in his head. "And what would make you think that?" He asked, he sounded like he had thought through every word very carefully before he said them.

"Because I know you Lucius," Narcissa told him, "I've known you for years, I can tell when you're up to something."

And it was true, Narcissa had noticed that her husband was up to something. He was quieter than usual, and very thoughtful. It began with him simply going to the library and reading through some old books. Narcissa wouldn't have seen it as unusual, if Lucius was one to sit in a library well into the night reading dusty old books, but he wasn't. It was the books he was reading as well, ones on Dark Magic, books he had no picked up in over ten years, and even a book about the legends and myths of Hogwarts, something he had never shown much of an interest in. Certainly not what Narcissa would think as a leisurely read, it was almost as if he was studying for something. Lucius never said anything about what he was reading, not even when Narcissa asked in her most innocently curious voice possible. She only hoped it was nothing more than Lucius deciding to look at the old library books and growing curious about old magical theories. Because the only person she linked books on Dark Magic to had been destroyed twelve years ago.

Then things grew a little more strange. Narcissa caught Lucius emerging one evening from their basement, the place where they kept many dark objects hidden from the prying eyes of the world. He had been holding an old, tattered looking book. When she asked him what it was, he said it was nothing but an old diary, and hurried out of the room before she could question him anymore.

After that Narcissa found him in the library again, looking carefully over the old book, his brow furrowed with concentration and perhaps, she thought, a little worry. When he wasn't reading it he hid the book away in the bottom of the wardrobe. When Narcissa stumbled upon it putting another letter from Draco into her precious box, she carefully took it out and opened it, curiosity bubbling in her veins to see what had made her husband so distracted. Only to find the diary was empty. There were no secrets that she imagined may have been written inside, it contained no words from a young Lucius during his school days, as she had begun to suspect. There wasn't even a smudge of ink upon it.

Disappointed and even more confused, Narcissa put the book back in its place and said nothing of it, but she watched her husband even more carefully, and found when she did find him staring at the book in the library, he wrote no words upon its pages or use magic to try to reveal anything hidden inside it. He just seemed to look at it and...think. Narcissa had no idea what the book was or could be used for, but something told her it was not normal. She had known her husband to dabble in Dark Magic, and she wouldn't be surprised if it was happening again.

Then one day, the diary vanished.

It was the day Lucius decided to take Draco to buy his new school supplies for the second year. He had told Narcissa there was no need for her to join them, and she decided it was probably best for Lucius and Draco to have some father-son time, as she felt Lucius sometimes acted a little frostily towards their son. She also wanted to have a chance to look at the diary again without fear of being caught. There was something about it that continued to hover in the back of her mind, something that told her it was a lot more than just an old, empty book, and she now felt determined to find out what the diary really was.

Only when she went to check in the wardrobe, she found that the book had disappeared. She searched every room in the house, but it was nowhere to be seen.

Later that day Lucius came home, looking rather worse for wear as he had had a fight with Arthur Weasley, a Muggle lover with far too many children and not enough money, in the middle of a book shop. Narcissa was furious that Lucius had made such a scene with a blood traitor, she did not want the precious Malfoy name to be tarnished in any way and what would the Ministry say if they found out? Even Draco looked embarrassed, but Lucius seemed rather pleased with himself, yet would not say what exactly was making him so happy.

From that day Narcissa never saw the mysterious diary again, and after a while she forgot about it. It was probably nothing, an old book Lucius couldn't decide to dispose of or not, and clearly one day he had decided too. There was no need for it to keep her awake at night

Until the attacks started at Hogwarts. Strange writing on the walls, mysterious rumours about the heir of Slytherin, cats being tortured, and then children being petrified.

Lucius stared at his wife for a few moments before he responded, the only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire. This was the first time Narcissa had directly accused him of having something to do with the Chamber of Secrets. She could tell he was trying to work out whether to tell his wife the truth or laugh off her accusation. She stared back at him, never breaking her gaze, willing him to tell her the truth.

"I'm sorry Narcissa, I can't say." He said solemnly. "And even if I do know anything about what's happening at that school, it's better for you if you don't."

It was as if he had just stupefied her. Narcissa stared, speechless, at her husband, but Lucius didn't seem to notice that his wife had gone into complete shock. He simply stood up and swept out the room as if she had never spoken.

It was Narcissa's worst nightmare, though Lucius didn't know it. Those simple words left her feeling colder than ever and betrayed.

Lucius had told her before to keep out of his business, in the kindest way possible, that it was best if she knew little about what he was planning, it was even safer for it to be so in case someone questioned her. But he hadn't done so in twelve years, not since the fall of the Dark Lord. Which could mean only one thing: the diary was linked with Voldemort.

What was Lucius planning to do? Did he wanted to somehow bring back the Dark Lord? Was he taking revenge on all the Mudbloods and blood traitors at Hogwarts? Was he trying to shame Dumbledore into leaving the school, the only man Voldemort ever feared?

Whatever he was doing, children were becoming victims because of it.

Narcissa knew she shouldn't care, not really. Those who were being attacked were Mudbloods, and Draco said in his letters whatever was attacking the children were only going after Muggle borns. But that was not the point, Narcissa may much prefer it if there were no Mudbloods at Hogwarts, but that didn't take away from the fact that they were _children._

Was her husband attempting mass murder, and not only that, the murder of children?

Perhaps Narcissa would not have cared so much, if she was not a mother herself. But she knew how much love she felt for her child, if Draco was in danger, it would be her worse nightmare come true. If she knew someone was trying to kill him, she would rather they took her own life, and she knew, whether Muggle or Wizard, each parents would feel the same about their children.

And yet her husband was the one trying to take these children away from this world.

Narcissa knew what it was like to have your child die, and years later the pain still felt raw. She would not wish the emptiness in her heart she still felt when she thought of her daughter on anyone, not even Mudbloods.

Whatever Narcissa might feel, or had been brought up to feel, about Muggle borns and Muggle lovers, she still had her limits. She remembered once she found rats in the basement. Shrieking with shock and the shame that such dirty creatures had made their way into _her_ house, she set about trying to destroy them. But then she found a nest of babies, and realised she could not bring herself to end their lives. These Mudbloods and blood traitor children were just the same.

But it seemed Lucius did not have that limit. She remembered when she had told him about their rat infestation he was the one who had killed the baby rats, and even then she felt sad about their deaths, even though they were vermin.

The Dark Lord would not care about children, and if Lucius was working for Voldemort once more, it seemed he too did not care if someone's child became a victim.

Narcissa was motionless, petrified with shock and sadness as she thought about what her husband might be doing. Lucius may be miles away from Hogwarts, but if he was the one who had opened the Chamber of Secrets, if that strange diary had something to do with the children being attacked, that still put the blood on his hands. And what if he succeeded? He would be a murderer of children, some not even in their teens yet, and would leave parents broken hearted, their lives shattered.

"Oh Lucius," Narcissa whispered to herself, "What have you done?"


	6. 1992: Dobby

_Really sorry about the late update. I've been really busy working on other fanfictions etc. Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long to write!_

_A moment of mine now, we're still in the second book and Narcissa is about to have an encounter with Dobby, which I think might have been an intruiging thing to see, especially after Dobby had been set free..._

_I'm also updating this in a bit of a rush, so I haven't had time to read it through (not wanting to delay the update any further) so I hope there aren't too many mistakes!_

_Anyway, I hope you like the chapter, sorry again for the late update, reviews are much loved! :)_

* * *

Chapter 6

1992

Dobby

Narcissa's peaceful summer evening was ruined in a rather unexpected and dramatic fashion with Lucius Malfoy blasting the door open with his wand and storming into the living room. Narcissa had never seen him so angry. His eyes were wild, his normally smooth and sleek hair was in disarray and his usually pale face was red with rage. Narcissa dropped the book she had been reading in her hands in shock and jumped out of her chair to watch her husband storm up and down the room, looking like he was close to pulling his hair out.

"What on _earth_ is the matter?" Narcissa snapped, she was not afraid of her husband's temper, even though she rarely saw it and it would make many others tremble with fear.

"That...that _boy! _And that damn _house elf!_ I'll kill them both!" Lucius roared, not taking any notice of his wife as he continued to march up and down, wand raised. Narcissa was tempted to pull the wand out of his hand before he started blasting things across the room.

"What a_re _you talking about?" Narcissa demanded, raising her voice too. Last thing she had heard from Lucius that day was that he was going to Hogwarts as Dumbledore had just been re-instated as Headmaster. She knew he had been angered by this news, as they all hated the Muggle loving Headmaster, but had no idea he would react like this.

"_POTTER!" _Lucius bellowed, as if that one word explained everything and was the source of all his anger. Narcissa waited as patiently as possible in the hope that her husband would elaborate. "The boy's only twelve years old and he's giving me enough trouble to last a lifetime! He _killed _the Basilisk! How many children can kill giant snakes?"

This however, did not help clarify to Narcissa why her husband was so angry. "He's done what?" She snapped, but then she hesitated. This couldn't have anything to do with the diary, could it? The book that had left her wondering if Lucius was becoming a murderer. Her voice was calmer when she spoke again, but there was also a very dangerous tone to it, one that would have warned a calmer Lucius his wife was on the edge of exploding too. "Lucius, what have you done?"

Lucius' pacing slowed a little, but he still looked wild. He realised the game was up, he revealed to Narcissa he had been up to something. "I wanted to rid everything bad from that school, Narcissa, Dumbledore included. But that Potter boy decided he wanted to save the day and made a fool out of me in the process. And then, just to cap it all, he made me fire our house elf!"

Narcissa wanted to ask more about this mysterious plan Lucius was finally beginning to reveal to her, but the mention of their house elf, Dobby, distracted her. "What? We no longer have a house elf? How could Potter make you fire him?"

Lucius snarled in response and turned redder, he seemed like he was struggling to form the right words. Narcissa had to wait once more for a proper answer, her temper also rising. "He made me give him a sock! Disguised it!" Lucius growled.

In any other situation Narcissa would have laughed at these words, no wonder Lucius was reluctant to tell her what happened to their house elf, a twelve year old boy fooling a Malfoy with a sock was something Lucius would not want to admit to anyone. Her husband continued to pace up and down the room, ranting and raging about Harry Potter, Narcissa watched him but wasn't really listening to what she was saying. She was thinking about what this news meant.

So she was right after all in suspecting that Lucius may have been up to something, but his plan had clearly failed. She perhaps would have shared in his anger if he had told her the truth about what he was doing. Yes, she wanted to rid everything bad from the school too, and amongst families such as the Malfoys those things included Dumbledore and Mudbloods, but she did not want children to be killed because of it. Despite her husband's rage and the shame that will surely now fall upon the family because of his foolish mistakes, she was glad that no more children would be harmed, Mudblood or Pureblood. She wasn't very impressed however that Lucius had gone and lost their house elf. It wasn't a good sign if this 'Boy Who Lived' was running around already causing trouble for the Malfoys, making fools out of them and freeing their house elves.

But Narcissa knew that as well as being annoyed at the boy she should also take warning. This Potter was important to many people, and whatever snide comments Draco may say about him, he could well be a danger to the Malfoy family and might someday take a lot more than just the house elf.

At that moment, Narcissa looked round and caught sight of a face peering in through the window. The sun was just starting to set, bathing them in a warm yellow glow, but Lucius had not noticed the silhouette that stood out against the light. There was no mistaking those ears however.

Wordlessly, Narcissa stood up and walked out of the room. Lucius didn't even seem to notice she had left. She walked right out the house's main entrance and moved silently round to the window, where her now ex-house elf was standing there, watching what was going on inside with his tennis ball-shaped eyes.

Narcissa cleared her throat.

The little elf leapt into the air with surprise and fright as if he had just been hit with a spell. He whirled around, his eyes wide with fear, his hands trembling, gazing up at his old mistress.

"Lucius just told me what happened," Narcissa said calmly and quietly, she noticed that Dobby was wearing on his foot a black sock, the one he had been freed with. "You don't work here anymore. What are you doing here?"

It took a moment for Dobby to reply, he swallowed several times as if there was something caught in his throat and he continued to tremble. In the end he said, with eyes focused on the ground, "It seems...after so long working here...it's harder for Dobby to leave the Malfoys than Dobby thought Mistress, he thought he needed to see the house one more time and then he would be able to leave forever, Mistress."

Narcissa stared at the house elf, as if trying to work out what reaction would best suit the situation. She could still hear Lucius storming up and down inside the house, and decided to use anger. "If you don't work here anymore Dobby, you don't belong here. So get away from my house before I curse you for trespassing!" She hissed.

Dobby gave a little whimper of fear, but to her surprise, remained right where he was. "You weren't usually the one who hit Dobby, Mistress, not usually the one to threaten Dobby with a curse. That was all _him._" As Dobby turned to glare at the marching Lucius, Narcissa saw for the first time his eyes were filled with nothing but contempt. "You just pretended Dobby didn't exist. You would just glare at Dobby if he entered the room and you frightened Dobby, so Dobby kept out of your way." For perhaps the first time ever, Dobby looked straight into Narcissa's eyes. "You did not curse Dobby then, and you will not curse Dobby now."

Frustratingly, what Dobby said was true. Narcissa was hoping at the sound of her threat he would give a terrified squeak and run off, as he always used to do when in servitude to her family, but something had changed in the little house elf, and now he was free he may still be scared but he didn't want to run. Narcissa wasn't one for hitting or cursing what she saw as weak creatures either, not unless it was necessary, besides, Dobby used to punish himself enough, she wouldn't question why or how bandages had appeared on his hands or wrapped around his head. In fact, that had happened a lot more in the past few months than it usually did...

"What have you been doing Dobby?" Narcissa muttered quietly, "why did Harry Potter free you?"

Dobby looked terrified and seemed desperate now to obey Narcissa's command and run away, but his feet remained rooted to the floor. He swallowed several times again and then muttered, "Dobby hears many things in the house of the Malfoys. They do not notice Dobby, they do not see him when he goes into a room to do his work, so they do not hide what they say or think and Dobby learns things. Dobby learnt that bad things were going to happen at Hogwarts, and he had to help. He had to save the Boy Who Lived!"

No wonder Dobby had been punishing himself so much more, he had been protecting the person the Malfoy family should hate, even now he looked like he was fighting the urge to pull his own fingernails out, and Narcissa had to resist attacking him too. Her house elf had been plotting right under her nose, he knew all the things she longed to, and he had been disobeying the family her right under their nose! Narcissa felt if there was one time to curse the house elf, it would be now, but she had one more question to ask.

"Why? Why save Harry Potter?"

"Because he has no one else to save him Mistress." Dobby murmured, but his voice had a new determination within it. "Harry Potter is all alone. You would protect your son if you thought he was in danger, but Harry Potter has no mother to take care of him and he deserves to be protected too, so Dobby did it himself. He could not let this great wizard die at the hands of the Malfoys who are...are very bad wizards!" Dobby finished with a cry, and before Narcissa could do anything he was banging his head against the wall of the house, shouting "bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!"

"That's enough!" Narcissa snapped, it was surprising Lucius could not hear the house elf's cries from inside. It looked like it took Dobby a lot of effort, but he obeyed his old Mistress' command and stopped hitting himself, stumbling a little and rubbing his head. "Do you really mean that?" She asked quietly.

Dobby nodded, "Yes mistress. You Malfoys are..." but the house elf didn't seem to be able to bring himself to say it again, so instead he said, "Harry Potter is a great wizard, for the first time Dobby found a wizard who was kind to him, and yet Harry Potter had no one to protect him or save him. So Dobby decided he would do it himself, and Harry Potter freed him."

There was a pause. For the first time ever, Narcissa felt guilty about the way she had treated the house elf. He had never called them bad wizards before, he wouldn't have dared to, but was there truth in his words? House elves were beneath wizards, everyone knew that, but as Narcissa saw the determination in Dobby's eyes as he recalled helping Harry Potter, she realised they were much more human than she thought. Dobby wasn't the pathetic creature she had always thought he was. He knew the risk of helping Harry Potter, he knew the punishment he would face, yet he helped the Boy Who Lived, because he knew that Potter would have no one else to help him. He wasn't as lucky as Draco, who had a loving mother. Narcissa knew she would do anything for her son and every day she longed to save the daughter she couldn't have, and Dobby probably saw that, so he decided to give Harry Potter the protection of family he didn't have. That was a noble thing for anyone to do, let alone a house elf. And Narcissa felt sorry for Harry Potter too, wondering what it was like to have no parents or family that truly cared for him.

Narcissa wasn't sure how long she stood there thinking these things through, but she suddenly realised Dobby was still standing before her, looking nervous. She caught sight of his sock again, and through her sympathy and guilt came annoyance once more. She was too proud to apologise to the house elf for how he had been treated, and too frustrated to remember the fact she no longer had a house elf to do all the work. So instead she said, "You should leave this place Dobby. Now you're no longer my house elf, I don't want to see you again."

Dobby nodded again, but hesitated before he left, and whispered, "Dobby has a feeling he will see his old Mistress again, one more time, as a free elf."

And with a crack like a whip, Dobby vanished, leaving Narcissa alone with the sunset.


	7. 1993: Dementors

Chapter 7

1993

Dementors

_They've got Dementors guarding the school._

The same sentence prowled round and round Narcissa's head like a restless caged animal as she lay awake, staring at the dark ceiling, the only thing that broke the silence were her husband's gentle snores beside her. She had been told the news day ago by Lucius, that they had placed Dementors around the school in case Sirius Black tried to break in, but now they had send Draco off for his third year at Hogwarts, she felt very uneasy. The news about Dementors should have comforted Narcissa, knowing that her son would be protected inside the school from any crazed serial killers, but for some reason it filled her with dread instead. No one liked Dementors, no one could stand the cold and the hopelessness the strange decaying creatures overwhelmed you with, but Narcissa had never actually met a Dementor and she feared what effect they may have on her son. She wouldn't be the for him if something bad happened.

There was a reason why the Ministry would not let them roam the streets at free will.

_They've got Dementors guarding the school._

Narcissa sighed impatiently and tried to get into a more comfortable position as she stared up at the black ceiling. She didn't know how long she had been awake for, she considered waking Lucius so she would have some company and could share her worries about the Dementors, but she doubted he would care. He would mock her anxiety and simply repeat they were for protection, before turning over and falling back to sleep again. There was no point.

_They've got Dementors guarding the school._

Narcissa was standing alone in the middle of a dark street. There were no stars in the sky, no moon to light up her way. The houses on either side of her were empty, desolate and unknown to Narcissa. There was a chill in the air.

There was nothing forboding about the street, other than its eerie emptiness, yet Narcissa felt a prickle of fear on the back of her neck, and a shiver crept down her spine. She felt like she waiting for something, but what? There was a tingling in the tips o her fingers as if her body was warning her about something.

Then she noticed the night air was growing colder, icy cold. Through the darkness she could see frost forming on the ground before her, glittering like crystals. Narcissa felt even more uneasy, something was wrong, something was very wrong, she could sense it.

And then it came, she heard it before she saw it. The sound of a long, rattling breath that turned Narcissa's insides to ice. She knew what was coming now, but she was too scared to move.

A Dementor swept into view. Gliding through the air towards her, the ends of its ripped cloak just draping across the floor. Narcissa opened her mouth as if she wanted to cry for help or maybe even scream with fear, but nothing came out, her lungs were frozen. Her hands were growing numb with the cold yet there were beads of sweat glistening on her forehead.

The Dementor drew another long, rattling breath, and Narcissa could almost feel every happy memory, every hopeful thought, being pulled away from her body, draining her soul of everything good and kind, leaving her empty.

Before Narcissa could move she started to see the faces of every person she had witnessed being killed. The casualties were many when the Dark Lord had once been at the height of his power and some of them she had been there to see. Some people died with determination etched across their faces, sure that they would not die begging or screaming as the Dark Lord wished. Others did die begging and screaming, their faces contorted with loss of their loved ones, with pain and fear. It was so many years ago now, but Narcissa could still remember each of their faces, she wondered if anyone else still remembered them, if Lucius had dreams in which he could see their faces and hear their cries echoing in his ears. She had convinced herself at the time that this was all for the greater good, but seeing all the faces of the dead, young and old, flash before her eyes, she wasn't so sure.

Then whole scenes started flashing across her eyes, faster at first but slowing down as the Dementor slowly drew nearer, a rotting, scabbed hand emerging from underneath the ripped cloak and reaching towards Narcissa.

Andromeda's face, full of sorrow and determination as she turned away and left the House of Black for the very last time, as a disgraced sister, but a sister who Narcissa still loved.

Bellatrix, her other sister standing behind bars, looking so thin and dishevelled but her eyes were also filled with determination, and she had no regret, even though she had to spend the rest of her days in this cell.

Narcissa's own baby girl, her body limp and lifeless, as the nurse took her daughter away for the last time. She had had no chance of life, no chance to be saved, not even magic, who everyone saw as so great and powerful, could save her precious girl.

Lord Voldemort's high, cruel laugh as he pointed his wand at a dishevelled, terrified Draco. Lucius was slumped in the corner, his eyes wide open but empty as blood trickled down the side of his head. Narcissa tried to scream for her son, scream at the Dark Lord to stop, to take her instead. But even though her mouth opened no sound came from it, she seemed invisible to the Dark Lord and her son, and the Dark Lord's laugh echoed once more in her ears as he prepared to strike.

The Dementor was even closer now, its rotting hand almost touching Narcissa's shoulder. She knew what it was going to do, but there was no need for it to hold her down, she was completely frozen to the spot and powerless to stop the Dementor from sucking out her soul.

"The Malfoy family has failed me for the last time." Voldemort cried out, he could have been standing right beside Narcissa he sounded so close, and his words echoed in her ears as she felt herself completely overwhelmed by desperation and despair, but there was nothing Narcissa could do as Voldemort raised his wand above his head and yelled, "_Avada Kedavra!"_

"NO!" Narcissa screamed as a bright flash of green filled her vision.

"Narcissa! _Narcissa!"_

Narcissa awoke to find herself screaming and struggling and kicking in bed, a pair of arms wrapped round her and a voice full of fear calling out her name. For a moment she didn't know where she was, who was holding her, and that at any moment a Dementor would come swooping down out of the darkness and suck out her soul. She could feel herself shaking uncontrollably and there were hot tears running down her cheeks.

"Narcissa it's okay, it was only a dream!" The voice cried out again.

Then Narcissa realised who the voice belonged to. It was Lucius. He was holding her tightly as if he feared if he let go of her she would fall, but also gently as if he was worried she might break. Narcissa remembered where she was. She was not standing in a dark street and there were no Dementors, she was in bed in Malfoy manor with her husband, and she hadn't heard him sound so afraid since the Dark Lord fell.

_And he never will come back_, Narcissa tried to convince herself, as moments from the dream still flashed before her eyes. _We are safe. There are no Dementors, there is no Voldemort._

The warmth of Lucius' body banished the cold that had crept up on Narcissa in her dream and within his arms she managed to tell herself that she was safe. She took a deep breath, trying to stop her shaking as she wrapped her arms around Lucius too.

There had been many moments over the past few years where Narcissa thought Lucius had simply given up caring about his wife and family. He always seemed so cold towards her, his eyes gave nothing away. But not tonight. Lucius was actually showing that he cared. He sounded so scared and worried about his wife, even though it was just a dream. In the dead of night he was there and willing to comfort her.

This was the same Lucius who had wordlessly took her hand and looked deep into her eyes when she told him, in a voice filled with heartbreak, that Andromeda had left. Just that small gesture told Narcissa that he was there for her and was comforting her even in the middle of such a scandal.

This was the Lucius who had gone to Azaban with her to visit Bellatrix, even though he didn't need to enter that awful place, he could have told Narcissa to go alone, but he didn't, he stayed by her side.

And this Lucius was not dead, bleeding on the ground. He was safe and warm and very much alive. He was not laughing at her, he was not saying the wrong things to make Narcissa feel even worse. He was being the man she loved.

In that moment Narcissa promised herself that she would keep her family safe, no matter what. She did not want to re-live or see those things the Dementor had shown her in her dream. No one else would be thrown out the house, no one else would be locked away, no one else would die needlessly and no one would be murdered by the Dark Lord's hand. She would protect this family.

Narcissa longed for this moment with Lucius to never end. She wanted this version of her husband to stay forever by her side and not become careless and cold once more. She didn't want the Lucius who had been standing, so stiff and cold beside her bed the day she had lost her daughter, the precious jewel she would never own. She didn't want the Lucius who chuckled when she sent sweets to her son, she did not want the Lucius who was keeping secrets.

But she knew, when morning came, the cold Lucius would return and this moment would seem nothing more than a dream itself.

* * *

_So I wanted Narcissa to encounter a Dementor for the moment in the third book, but wasn't quite sure how she might run into such a creature, so I decided to make it a dream and throw in some Lucius/Narcissa at the end too. I hope you liked it :)_

_Don't forget if you want to see a particular moment for Narcissa to let me know!_

_Please review :)_


	8. 1993: Lies

_Another moment request! :) This one's about Narcissa's reaction to Draco being attacked by Buckbeak and having Remus Lupin as a teacher, requested by Moon Lantern. I struggled with writing this one a bit and it's not my best, but I hope you enjoy it all the same :)_

_Next update will probably be delayed as I'm getting ready to go back to Uni soon, but I shall have it done and uploaded ASAP._

_Please review :)_

* * *

Chapter 8

1993

Lies

Professor Mcgonagall looked over her horn-rimmed glasses at Narcissa Malfoy as she entered. She stood and offered Narcissa a hand shake, which she decided to take. There was no need to be rude, yet. However she did give the Professor a cold glare and the infamous look on her face that made it look like there was something very nasty smelling just under her nose.

"Good afternoon, Mrs Malfoy. Again I apologise you couldn't see the Headmaster, but he is busy." McGonnagall said casually, sitting back down at her desk and decided to ignore Narcissa's glare. "Perhaps I could be of assistance?"

Narcissa looked the Professor up and down, before making her decision. She had come all this way, she might as well talk to someone. "I came here about my son."

"Oh?" Mcgonagall didn't seem at all surprised at this.

It was like a competition, which woman would show emotion first. Narcissa decided to remain cold. "Yes, surely you must be aware of the incident with him and the...bird?"

"Ah yes, the Hippogriff." Professor Mcgonagall didn't sound saddened or angered at all at the reminder of Buckbeak's attack, in fact she looked like such things happened every day at Hogwarts. It did not help with Narcissa's mood. "We already received a letter from your husband about the incident, Mrs Malfoy, and I can assure you that is what we are doing." She paused, "I assume you are here to discuss for of his letter?"

"Well no," Narcissa shifted uncomfortably, wondering how much she wanted to tell her, Mcgonagall's stern look was reminding her of when she was a pupil at Hogwarts and had handed some homework in late. "Actually, Lucius doesn't know I'm here."

That seemed to interest Professor Mcgonagall more, "I see, I suppose this makes it a...very personal visit." She said.

Narcissa tried to snap herself out of the feeling she was a pupil again standing in front of the Deputy Head, not the mother of a pupil. "It's nothing really, I just didn't want him to think I was making too much fuss. He says he'll be able to sort it out within the ministry."

"And I'm sure he will," Professor Mcgonagall replied, rather coldly.

"But I'm concerned for my son," Narcissa finished, for some reason it felt like it had taken a lot of effort to admit that.

However these words seemed to soften the Professor, and when she spoke again she sounded less cold, perhaps she had realised Narcissa was not here just to cause disruption to her day. "I understand, receiving news such as that must have been shocking and upsetting for you, but I promise you that Draco Malfoy is receiving the best care and there is nothing to worry about. Madam Pomfrey has healed the wound and he is recovering well, in fact more than he will let on," Mcgonagall finished her sentence in a mutter, Narcissa only just caught her words.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She snapped.

"Nothing," said Mcgonagall coolly, "Mrs Malfoy I think if you would like to hear more about the progress of your son after the attack maybe it would be better to talk to his Head of House, Professor Snape?"

Narcissa stiffened a little. She had stormed into Hogwarts with every intention of going straight to the Headmaster and making several complaints to sooth her worries about her son, but since then her confidence had waned under the infamous gaze of Professor Mcgonagall. She remembered what Lucius had said when she suggested they personally go and visit their son at the school and find out what had really happened:

"You're making too much of a fuss Narcissa, we know what happened. That great oaf Hagrid set an over-grown chicken on his students and Draco was attacked. There's little more we can do if we go all the way up to the school than we have already done, let me handle it, everyone will get what they deserve."

At first Narcissa had not believed him and decided that if he didn't want to go to the school, that shouldn't stop her visiting Hogwarts and she was glad she had come. But now she had arrived she realised there was little more they could do than they already had done, and she could picture several teachers muttering about her, discussing how she had come and disturbed her day for no reason.

"I don't think that would be necessary, I just wanted to make sure my son was all right," Narcissa said. "I didn't know whether he would be more comfortable if he recovered at home?" She admitted.

"Once again I understand your concern Mrs Malfoy, but everything your husband has requested of this school after the attack is being done, and your son is safe at this school, he won't need to be taken home, if he is he will miss lessons." Mcgonagall explained.

But Narcissa wasn't so sure. By the tone in Draco's letters she had images of the Hippogriff almost tearing him in half. She would at least like to see her son before she left, she couldn't help but feel worried about him, despite Professor Mcgonagall's words.

She was about to reply when there was a knock on the door and she turned to see a man entering the office.

"Oh, I'm very sorry Professor Mcgonagall, I didn't realise you had company," he said with a friendly smile.

Narcissa looked the man up and down, and an even more disapproving look appeared on her face. She had a horrible feeling he was a teacher, but how could he be? He must have been in his thirties, but at the same time he looked a lot older than his true years, with dark rings under his eyes and his hair already turning grey. Narcissa's eyes fell on his old patched robes. This was not the sort of man she would like to have teaching her son.

"It's fine, I was just leaving," she said quickly and coldly.

"Mrs Malfoy, this is our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin. Professor Lupin, this is Narcissa Malfoy, her son Draco is currently in his third year here," Mcgonagall explained.

Lupin held out his hand, but Narcissa didn't take it. She had not been taught politeness as a child, and her worse fear had just been confirmed: yes, this man was teaching her son. There was also something about the name Lupin that she recognised, but she couldn't think of where from, it made her more suspicious of the man standing before her.

"Had we met before?" She asked.

Lupin decided to ignore the iciness in her tone and replied with another smile, "I can't say we have Mrs...?"

"Malfoy."

"Mrs Malfoy, and I am sorry to hear about the incident with your son. Hippogriffs are beautiful creatures, but they are not the safest. You need to be careful and respectable around them. Still, I hear Draco was lucky just to get away with a few scratches."

Narcissa raised her eyebrows and when she spoke again her voice was a hiss, "A few scratches..." but she stopped herself. There was no need to start an argument with the teachers. She would see her son in the Christmas holidays and if she found he had more than a few scratches she would definitely have reason to complain. "Well, I don't want to take up any more of your time, I'll leave you to your business, Professor Mcgonagall, Professor...?"

"Lupin, Remus Lupin."

At that Narcissa remembered where she had heard the name from: Remus Lupin, a member of the Order of the Pheonix. She had heard some of the Death Eaters talk about members of the Order, and she was sure a Remus Lupin was amongst them. She felt a jolt of fear and anger at this realisation. This was the enemy, who smiled at her in such a friendly manner in his tattered old robes. She did not smile back.

"A pleasure," she said, not caring how unconvincing she sounded, she looked back at Mcgonagall. "It sounds like you have everything under control her, I hope I won't need to return again. Goodbye." And she stalked out the room, ignoring the gaze of the two teachers and not bothering to wait for their farewells.

* * *

There was a bitter winter wind the day Draco came home for Christmas. Already frost was creeping from the corners of the windows, framing Narcissa's face as she stood, watching and waiting for her husband and son to return.

Finally two pale figures appeared, walking towards the house, both hunched against the cold, one with a bandaged arm. Weeks had passed since she had visited Hogwarts yet her son was still injured. At least now she would be able to take care of Draco herself, she rushed to the front door.

Draco smiled up at his mother as she helped him take off his coat. Even Lucius seemed to be in a good mood now his son was home and he was out of the cold, he announced hot drinks for all and bustled off into the kitchen, leaving mother and son alone.

"How is it, Draco?" Narcissa crooned, looking at his bandages.

"Better mother, I'm sure I will recover." Draco said with a brave smile as they moved from the chilly hallway into the much warmer living room, where a large fire crackled happily. "I'd feel a lot better if that oaf Hagrid was no longer at that school though," he added.

"Your father did all he could," Narcissa assured her son, "let me have a look at it," she suggested, hands reaching for his bandages.

To her surprise, Draco drew away, looking worried. "Err, no it's fine mother, it's best to leave it be...let it heal."

But Narcissa ignored him, she wanted to take care of her son. She remembered the feeling she had had when she had lost her daughter, and when she heard about Draco's attack she was terrified it would happen again. She refused to lose a son, she had promised to protect him. "Come now Draco, I may have something that could help with the pain, just let me have a look at it first."

"No, I said I'm fine!" Draco snapped.

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. She would not have her son talk to her like that, not when she was trying to look after him, she knew he would never talk to Lucius like that, but his reaction also concerned her, why was he afraid of showing her the wound?

"Keep still Draco!" She snapped back, hands on the bandages as her son tried to pull away. Growing impatient, she pulled out her wand and directed it at the bandages, which immediately fell away.

Narcissa stared in horror as she looked down where Draco's wound was meant to be.

Only there was no wound, there wasn't even a mark on his skin. He had lied to her.

"What's the meaning of this?" She said, through gritted teeth, anger bubbling beneath her own skin. Draco had plunged her into fear at the news of his attack, made her go all the way to Hogwarts and left her lying awake at night with worry, for nothing.

Draco sighed, he knew better than to continue lying to his mother. "I just wanted to get rid of him, mother! That oaf Hagrid and his big bird. I knew they wouldn't listen to me if they thought it was nothing more than a scratch, so I left the bandages on...for a bit longer."

"So you _lied_ to me? You lied to everyone?" Narcissa had to stop herself from yelling. "You made everyone think you had been terribly injured by that Hippogriff when really you don't even have a scar!"

"Why would you care?" Draco argued, "it didn't hurt anyone..."

"I think it did. Your father is calling for that bird to be killed!"

Draco shrugged, "It's just a bird Mum, what difference does it make? That Hagrid's a rubbish teacher, I just wanted to get rid of him, father wants to get rid of him too-"

"So you decide to kill an innocent creature just to get your way?"

"Why would you care? What is it to you if that great big chicken is killed?" Draco demanded, his usually pale cheeks now flushed pink with anger.

Narcissa wasn't sure herself why she was growing so angry about this news. She was annoyed that her son had lied to her and made her so worried for no reason, but he was right when he said Lucius wanted to see Hagrid out of Hogwarts too, along with half the other teachers at the school. She also didn't like the fact that Professor Lupin and Mcgonagall were right, it had only been a scratch. However she only realised exactly why her son's lie was causing her blood to boil when she said it out loud:

"One day it's just a big bird, next it's a human." She said coldly.

"That's ridiculous-" her son scoffed, but Narcissa interrupted him.

"Beware Draco, you should not find killing things so easy. Because the last thing I want you to become is a murderer."

And with that Narcissa turned and stormed out the room, leaving her son alone with the crackling fire.


	9. 1994: The Return

_We're on to year four now people, skipping right to the end of the book. You can probably guess what this 'moment' will be about!_

_I feel this is not my best chapter, but I hope you like it all the same :)_

* * *

Chapter 9

1994

The Return

The darkness and silence wrapped around Malfoy Manor, engulfing Narissa's world as if the dark clouds of a thunderstorm were hanging just over her house and over her head. Although Narcissa wanted the dark clouds to disperse, she didn't create any light with her wand, which was held limply in her hand, nor did she do anything to break the silence. She felt paralyzed within the darkness and the silence, as if it was a spell, a curse someone had placed upon her.

She supposed that in a way, fear was a curse.

Narcissa didn't know how long her husband Lucius had been gone for, or what had exactly happened to make him disappear so suddenly. Already the event felt like a distant dream. She remembered him suddenly clutching his arm, fear and realisation in his eyes, and before she could ask what was wrong, he had disapporated. Left her all alone, abandoned her in the darkness.

Only Narcissa realised now what was wrong. Her arm had not burned as well because she did not have the mark, but she had seen Lucius' do so many times before, she knew now his Dark Mark burned because the Dark Lord was calling for him.

But that wasn't possible, how could it be? Voldemort had vanished over thirteen years ago now, since then Lucius' scar had never burnt once, it had faded more with every passing year. How could the Dark Lord be dead the one minute and alive the next?

_Oh, but you always knew he would come back,_ a dark, sneering voice reminded Narcissa. _You always knew he was never truly gone, and now he has returned._

And Narcissa remembered now, how she saw a few weeks ago Lucius' mark was clearer than it had ever been in a long time, he pretended it was nothing and she did too. She assured herself it was the trick of the light, she shouldn't worry herself about such a small thing.

Only she should have, because it was a sign. A warning that the Dark Lord's years of silence was coming to an end.

Narcissa felt like she was trapped in a dream world, a nightmare even, only there was no escape. She would not wake up from this.

_Was this what you always wanted? _Narcissa asked herself, almost mockingly. She remembered how the two families she was part of - Black and Malfoy, rushed to join the side of He Who Must Not Be Named, her sister and her husband wearing the name 'Death Eater' with pride. They had been promised a pure and glorified world. But it had left families ripped apart instead and Narcissa had come to enjoy her almost fourteen years of peace and quiet, she did not want it to be ruined now.

However there was a more pressing issue that left her feeling suffocated in the darkness: why hadn't Lucius returned yet? He might never come back. The Dark Lord would not be impressed to find out one of those who claimed to have been most loyal to him had slunk back into their ordinary life for thirteen years, living and working alongside blood traitors and Mudbloods, while others, like Bellatrix, had continued the Dark Lord's good work and ended up with a life sentence in Azkaban. She would be greatly rewarded for the price they paid, but Voldemort was never merciful, what punishment would he think of for Lucius and perhaps the rest of his family because of their betrayal? Narcissa shivered at the thought.

Suddenly, there was a crack like a whip. Narcissa jumped out of her skin and thought for a moment she was about to be attacked. She raised her wand and with a flourish the darkness was banished as the room was filled with light.

To her relief, she saw it was Lucius standing before her. He looked a little panicked and dishevelled, but otherwise unharmed.

The couple stood and stared at each other for what felt like hours. The seconds stretched through the silence as Narcissa waited for Lucius to say something. But the look in his eyes said enough.

"He's back then," Narcissa said as calmly and clearly as possible, as if this sort of thing happened every week.

Lucius nodded. Narcissa suddenly found she was having difficulty standing upright, her hands were shaking as she managed to find her way to a chair and sink into it. Her husband watched her silently as thoughts spun around her head. Images of Voldemort standing above his surviving Death Eaters as they cowered before him, his high, cold laugh echoing around them, the joy on his cruel face as he announced his glorious return.

She should be happy, she should be laughing with joy too, Narcissa knew she should. But she wasn't.

"What happened?" Narcissa's throat was dry and her voice came out as a croak. She stared down at the floor, unable to show Lucius the look in her eyes. She had to be strong, not fearful.

"He was in a graveyard," Lucius began to explain in almost a whisper, as if he was afraid others would hear. "I don't know how long he had been there, but there was already a dead body on the ground, some Hogwarts pupil. He said he found an ancient spell which brought him back, with the help of that scum Wormtail, then he called for us. He had used the Triwizard cup as a port key so he could bring Harry Potter to him. I think the Dark Lord was trying to prove that he was truly back to power by duelling and killing Potter, but then something strange happened with their wands and the boy managed to escape. The Dark Lord was furious, but he told us he would never give up until there was no one left on this Earth who threatened him, including the boy, and he would call for us soon when we are next needed. He wants us to prove our loyalty once and for all, we cannot let him down again. The Dark Lord wants to keep his return a secret but there is no denying that he is back. I think it had been planned for months."

Narcissa stared into empty space as the words sunk in. The Dark Lord had barely been back for one night and already there were bodies lying on the ground. A child no less. Why did it always have to be the children, someone's baby? Every time she thought of her child that she had lost, and the one she might still lose if the Dark Lord was not kind, and the pain still felt raw. But why did Lucius say it so casually, as if it was nothing? And thanks to that boy Potter, who seemed to cause nothing but trouble in her family, the Dark Lord was filled with wrath already. What did he mean by proving their loyalty _once and for all_? What did that mean for them?

In that moment, Narcissa felt screaming like a child who was having their favourite toy taken away from them. She didn't_ want_ the Dark Lord to be back! In the years that he had gone, she had decided where her true loyalties lay, and they were not with the Ministry or with Voldemort, they were with her family. And she realised now that that would never change, ever since she had lost her little girl she had realised how precious her family was, like glittering diamonds in a dark cave. She must not let anyone else get their hands on her diamonds, she must not let them get lost or damaged, she had to cherish them.

But Lucius had run back to their old master, and though her loyalties had changed her allies had to stay the same. She wished she had a choice, that she didn't have to fall onto her knees if the Dark Lord came, as her husband had done, but if she didn't her precious diamonds would burn in a fire of rage and vengeance so strong they would melt before her eyes. Her husband, her son, they were no longer safe in this world.

Narcissa couldn't help but feel angry at Lucius for going back to him, because now she felt there was definitely not way out of this. Her husband would say that they were already trapped and they had no choice but to go back to the Dark Lord. However Narcissa thought differently. Her panicked mind pointed out that they could have gone to the Ministry and told them You Know Who had returned, warn them what carnage was to come and beg them for protection in return.

But no, Lucius had stumbled back to Voldemort without even thinking. He decided to keep to his old allies.

"What now?" Narcissa suddenly found herself speaking again, as if her voice had a life of its own.

Lucius shrugged and straightened his cloak. She was reminded of the time he had come to her and told her Voldemort had been destroyed, his life in disarray yet he tried to act as if nothing had changed. "We wait for the Dark Lord's call once more, and we must come to his aid if we don't want to face his wrath. We will help him take the world." He paused, watching his wife's pale face, unable to hide her fear and worry. "This is the start of a golden age for us, Narcissa. He will reward us richly for our loyalty once more. This is what we wanted."

"Exactly, this is what we _wanted_, not what we _want._ I don't want the world." Narcissa said defiantly as she got back to her feet, her eyes were as cold and hard as the metaphorical diamonds she held so dear. How could this be all her husband cared about? The golden age, coming to their wonderful master's aid, taking the world. They seemed like long distance dreams, dreams that were not worth the sacrifices the Dark Lord would ask them for. Was he going to chase the dream instead of his family? She wouldn't. "Congratulations, if you think you will get the golden age you wanted, but I doubt it will be as glorious as you say it is, I think it will be stained with blood, and not just the blood of our enemies. I don't want anything to do with it, Lucius." And she turned to leave.

"You don't have a choice, Narcissa!" Lucius snapped, his face a mixture of panic and anger at his wife's defiance.

"No," Narcissa spoke quite calmly. "Thanks to you, I have no choice."

As Narcissa turned and stormed out the room, she wondered what her other family would think of her words. Her parents would probably be frustrated that she was disagreeing with her husband. Bellatrix would be close to exploding with rage at this betrayal of the Dark Lord. Draco would probably feel afraid, even though he would try not to show it. But Andromeda would be proud to see that finally her sister was managing to stand up for herself. Narcissa just wished she had made the decision sooner, because now the dark clouds of a thunderstorm were not going to fade.


	10. 1995: The Truth

Chapter 10

1995

The Truth

Narcissa watched Lucius silently as he pulled on a pair of black, leather gloves, his cold, indifferent eyes focused completely upon them rather as if he didn't even know his wife was there. They were alone again, just the two of them, no house elf, no son, as they had been for most of the time over the past few years, but this year it had been particularly tense. Lucius continued to serve the Dark Lord and Narcissa continued to pretend she was on his side, because if she dared turn away there would be no escape from Voldemort's wrath. She thanked her unspoken talent of occlumency, making it easier for her to lie and hide secrets than others - no one would know the true feelings behind her eyes. She had spoken rarely about the Dark Lord to Lucius since the night he returned, she often asked him what Voldemort's plans were next, and to her surprise he was willing to answer. She had not seen the Dark Lord yet since his return, as he wanted to keep himself hidden from the Ministry, but often Lucius received messages and orders from him. A plan was taking shape to seize something the Dark Lord did not have before - a prophecy.

Even though the reasons why Voldemort wanted the prophecy was still foggy in Narcissa's mind, the time had come at last for Lucius to be returned to his former glory and be placed on the right hand side of the Dark Lord by collecting this prophecy safely from Harry Potter and delivering it to him.

It sounded deceptively simple and Lucius remained confident that the plan would go smoothly, but Narcissa had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was going to go horribly wrong. She felt that if her husband walked out the front door he was going to enter a thunderstorm.

"I should be back before midnight," Lucius' calm and casual voice broke through Narcissa's thoughts, he didn't notice how is voice sliced through the tension in the icy air like broken glass.

Narcissa knew he would think her as ridiculous, she could picture Lucius laughing at her face as she admitted her worry for him and her fear. But she couldn't just let him walk out the door, she might never see him again, she had to trust her instinct. She took a deep breath.

"Don't go."

Narcissa's voice sounded so small in the silence, like a frightened child. But it was enough to make Lucius pause just as he turned to leave the house. He gave her a cold, confused look.

"I'm sorry?" He spoke as if he was talking to a Mudblood instead of his wife.

"Please, don't go." Narcissa repeated, sounded less frightened but more desperate as she stepped towards her husband.

Lucius sighed, as if he was trying to explain something frustratingly simple to someone exceptionally stupid. "I have to go, Narcissa, I don't have a choice. It is an _honour_ that the Dark Lord has given me this duty, and he will reward us greatly if I succeed. You can't simply tell me _not _to go. This is no time to have cold feet."

"I've been having cold feet for years." Narcissa snapped before she could stop herself.

Lucius froze, and stared at his wife, disbelief and shock in his eyes. The iciness in them had melted as the words sunk in. "What do you mean?"

"I don't like this Lucius. I don't like the life I have decided to live. I don't like the man we have to work for and I hate how I seem to be the only person in this family who cares about the lives of others."

"Since when did you decide this?" Lucius demanded, angry.

"Years ago. When I realised some things are not worth sacrificing."

Lucius hesitated, her continued to stare open-mouthed at his wife, but then he shook his head and looked irritated. "I don't have time for this! Potter is going to be at the Room of Requirement at any moment and I have to-"

Narcissa's anger suddenly burst out of her. It was as if her heart had exploded with rage, unable to continue to hide the real thoughts and fears she had kept locked inside it. Her eyes burned with tears and her hands had become clenched fists, if she had been holding her wand it would have spit fire. Every muscle in her body tightened as her wrath possessed her. She could never remember yelling at her husband before, but now her shrill voice echoed off the cold stone walls. "You don't _care_, do you?! You've _never_ cared!"

Lucius looked like he had suddenly realised he was face to face with a dragon. It wasn't often that he was scared, and never of his wife. "What...what are you talking about?" He flustered.

"Did you just marry me because I was pure blood?" Narcissa said with deadly calm. "Because I have sometimes wondered if you ever loved me. All you care about is your honour and power. What about our children-"

"If you're worried about Draco," Lucius said quickly, trying to regain calm. "He's safe, he's-"

"You can't guarantee that." Narcissa snapped, "you know the Dark Lord wouldn't care if he killed a child, you can't promise me that our son will be safe, you know you can't! And it's not just about Draco."

"Then who-"

"My daughter! OUR DAUGHTER!" Narcissa roared. She was sure soon the walls would start to quake and the earth would crack open as her rage continued. Tears spilled down her cheeks, but she didn't even notice. "See, you've forgotten about her! Because all you wanted was a boy, so you could carry on the name of Malfoy! You never cared that we had lost a girl, my little girl. I look into your cold eyes every day and see you don't care, but I care, I miss her so much and you don't even remember her!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Lucius' own cry was enough to make the house shake. Narcissa froze, it was her turn to stare, shocked, at her husband, whose calm decorum had burned in the flame of his anger. "Don't you dare say that Narcissa, don't you _dare._ I care about Draco and I could never forget about our daughter. I think about her every day and I miss her more than you know, Narcissa. I dream about the day the nurse took her away, I sometimes awake and believe she is still alive, I look at Draco and long for him to have an older sister. It may have been sixteen years ago but it still hurts."

"Then why didn't you say?" Narcissa sobbed. It took all her energy to stop herself from falling to her knees with sorrow and anger. "Why didn't you tell me you still missed her, so I didn't feel like the only one in the world who cared?"

"Because I couldn't do it. I can't bring myself to show people how I really feel. I am too used to hiding my pain, fear and worry, I think it's best for everyone if they think I am strong and am not feeling broken inside. I could see the pain in your eyes and I longed to be able to take you by the hands and tell you you're not alone, that I miss our daughter too and I'm worried about Draco as well, but I couldn't do it. I wanted to be strong for you."

Narcissa stared at her husband, too shocked to cry any more. She had never heard him speak like this. She felt like years of the walls he had built up around them had come crashing down and before her stood a man she had never seen before. One that was just as worried about the Dark Lord as she was, one who sometimes struggled with everyday life as much as she did. A man who had love in his heart of stone.

"But-but-" she stuttered, her anger was slipping away and she couldn't hang onto it, but there was nothing to replace it, nothing but confusion and exhaustion.

"And I love you, Narcissa, I love all my children too, and that will never change."

So there was the truth. How Lucius had felt for so long but he had never dared to tell Narcissa. Now she could see the real man behind the cold eyes. The man who felt guilty that he couldn't save his daughter, the man who regretted every wrong word he said to his son or wife, the man who was just as scared as Voldemort as she was. The man she loved.

Narcissa's eyes closed as her hands shook and more tears came. Years and years of anger and loneliness had exploded and then died away in what felt like seconds. She didn't know what to think any more and she wanted nothing else to do but to curl up and cry for her daughter, for her family, for the perfect world she knew she would never have.

When she opened her eyes again she saw Lucius was holding her shaking hands. They were face to face and for once she saw warmth in his eyes, not coldness. Even though she felt she had no tears left, she burst into uncontrollable sobs. But this time Lucius was there, and he hugged her tightly.

"I...I'm sorry," Narcissa managed to say, and she was. If she had only known what her husband was feeling on the inside, she would have never said those things to him.

"No," said Lucius softly, "It's me who should be saying sorry. I'm sorry for everything, Narcissa."

It felt like they stood there for an age, Narcissa's head resting on Lucius' warm chest, so tired of crying she couldn't move, and she didn't want to. Here it was safe, here she had the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

But as so many would know, when Voldemort was stalking the wizarding world, there was little time for such moments.

"I have to go, the Dark Lord...I need to collect that prophecy, or he'll never forgive me." Lucius said softly.

Narcissa sniffed, but nodded. She understood, it had to be done, there was no turning back. She could beg him not to go, but he had no choice. The feeling that something terrible was going to happen was still there, but there was nothing she could do about it. All they could do was say their goodbyes.

"Stay safe..." Narcissa whispered to Lucius. He took one look at her and nodded, his eyes full of understanding, before he apparated.

* * *

_So, it is finally revealed, how Lucius felt all along, in all of Narcissa's moments when she thought he didn't care._

_Quite an angsty chapter I know, I hope I did it ok! _

_Reviews are much appreciated :)_


	11. 1996: Sisters

_A slightly shorter chapter this time, and not my best I think, but we get to see a little bit of Narcissa's relationship with Bellatrix in this one, which I hope you will like. Please review :)_

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Chapter 11

1996

Sisters

"You can't do this Cissy, this is madness!" Bellatrix hissed in Narcissa's ear, who decided not to respond by pointing out that calling her actions mad was somewhat hypocritical. Instead she remained silent, her hands knotted together in front of her, her pale face staring back at her in an old mirror, Bellatrix's figure just hovering behind, her dark eyes wide yet a little unfocused, while Narcissa's were filled with worry and focused on just one thing.

There was no denying that Narcissa loved Bellatrix, they were sisters after all, and she was overjoyed when she discovered that Bellatrix had escaped from Azkaban, it was one of the few pieces of good news she had recieved since the return of the Dark Lord. However Narcissa also couldn't deny that something had definitely changed about her loving sister. She had been passionate, spontaneous, determined and sometimes irrational before the Dark Lord fell, and now she was back her personalities had heightened in intensity, but not in a good way. Bellatrix depended on obeying Voldemort as if he was the only reason she was alive, which deeply saddened Narcissa, for she felt that Bellatrix would no longer die for her family, but would happily sacrifice for the Dark Lord. Ever since she had appeared on the Malfoy's doorstep after so many years locked away, Narcissa could see in her eyes that something had changed, something in her mind had snapped.

Insane was such a cruel word, but there were moments when Narcissa considered that her sister did fit that definition.

She knew Bellatrix wouldn't like the idea, but she had hoped she would have been a little more supportive. How could she only see the task her nephew had been given as an honourable task? Not one that could well end with his death and therefore plunged Narcissa with a cold sense of dread, as if someone had just thrown her into the Hogwarts lake.

Since the night she had last seen Lucius things had taken a dark, twisted path, darker and more twisted than Narcissa had feared. Now her husband was in Azkaban and she missed him terribly. She kept on picturing his face; unshaven, drained of all hope and terrified of the future. She knew something was going to go wrong when he went to collect the prophecy, but she hadn't expected this. Now every night she sat alone in the huge Malfoy mansion, unable to sleep with worry, knowing that somewhere upstairs Draco felt the same way, but he refused to admit it, sometimes Bellatrix stayed at the house but she was little comfort. Soon he would be going back to school and Bellatrix would find a permanent home, leaving Narcissa completely alone. She thought she was alone when Lucius was still with her, but when she realised how much he had cared and now he was gone she noticed that when he had been with her she had had all the company she needed.

She remembered what she had thought to herself the night Lucius had returned to the side of the Dark Lord just over a year ago:

_Was this the perfect world you always wanted?_

No, it most definitely was not, but there was worse to come. The perfect world Narcissa pretended she had was unravelling fast and disappearing into black smoke even as she tried to reach out and snatch the last threads. The Dark Lord was willing to forgive Lucius if a Malfoy paid for his shameful mistake of letting the prophecy break, so he had given Draco a special task, a very special task and one that Narcissa was sure Voldemort knew he would not succeed in.

This was their punishment. The loss of the one thing dearest to both Lucius and Narcissa. Their son. Narcissa remembered when she had been told the 'good' news, she had to pretend to be so happy, so grateful that the Malfoys had a chance of redeeming themselves, when really her heart had fallen to the ground and smashed into a thousand pieces at her feet.

Draco pretended not to be afraid of this task, but Narcissa knew that he was terrified, and she knew that her son would not be able to fulfil the task he had been given.

Because she had brought up her son right, and he was not a murderer.

But Narcissa could not simply stand by and watch her son try and become a killer, before being killed himself when he failed the task, she had to do something. For the last few days she had thought of nothing else, appetite and sleep failed her as she spent every minute turning her wand over in her hands, knowing there had to be a way out, there had to be something she could do.

Finally the answer came to Narcissa. Draco would need someone on the inside when he returned to Hogwarts, where his mother would be unable to help him, she would have to turn to a fellow Death Eater who was on the inside to save her son. And there was only one person who was perfectly positioned for the job.

Severus Snape. A loyal servant to the Dark Lord, although many, like her sister, did not trust him. But he knew Draco, he was in his house, he taught him Potions, he worked and lived in the school. Surely he would not let her son die, surely he would be able to help?

So Narcissa had decided, Draco may deny it and Bellatrix may speak against it, but he needed help, and she would get him all the help she could. She knew where Snape lived, she would go and find him, beg for help if she had to and she would do it tonight.

"What would the Dark Lord say if he found out?" Her sister hissed in her ear.

Yes, that was the one problem about Narcissa's idea. Voldemort would not want anyone else to know about what Draco had been sent to do, if he did he would have told them himself. She was spilling his secrets, she was asking for help when her son was meant to be working alone. Just going to Severus could be incredibly risky.

But although the Dark Lord may scare Narcissa greatly, she cared more about her son, and she would take whatever risk she had to for him. Every day Narcissa wished she could save the child she never could, and this time she had the opportunity to save her son, she would not let it go to waste.

She wished she could turn round to Bellatrix with a shrug and tell her how she felt about the Dark Lord and her son, but she had already lost a sister she sorely missed, she would not lose another. True, going against the instructions of Voldemort could have her sharing a cell in Azkaban with Lucius, or it could even end up in her death, but it would be worth it if she would be able to save her son. However Bellatrix would not see it that way, because the Dark Lord came before everyone, and if Narcissa gave the slightest hint that perhaps her loyalties were not unwavering, unlike Bellatrix's, she would have more than just the Dark Lord to worry about.

Narcissa turned away from the mirror to face her sister, her eyes pleading. "Please, Bella, you have to let me do this. I cannot let my son die, he cannot do this on his own and I think you know he can't, he needs all the help he can get-"

"Draco should be proud, not afraid! And neither should you, the Dark Lord believes in him, _he_ is willing to give him a chance." Bellatrix napped, her voice shrill and somehow unhinged. Narcissa glanced over her sister's pale face and tangled hair, and wondered how she could make her understand this was the best thing to do.

"You may think that Bella, but I know my son and we both know the consequences if he fails. Draco will need help and I am willing to provide it for him. Surely we don't want the task to fail, whoever may end up casting the final spell?"

Bellatrix sighed and looked very irritated, but Narcissa couldn't help but feel a small sense of triumph, finally she was getting through to her sister. However Narcissa could see Bellatrix too was now having to make the choice between the Dark Lord and her family, Voldemort, her sister and her nephew. For Bellatrix, it was a much harder decision to make. She would die for Voldemort, while Narcissa would die for her family. This was the one big different between her and her sister, and Narcissa had the feeling it would lead to very different consequences for the both of them in the future and even though they had just been reunited, Narcissa could tell she and her sister were splitting apart.

"You'll regret this." Bellatrix warned into the silence.

"If this means saving my son, I regret nothing," Narcissa muttered. She knew her sister would never fully understand, she had never had any children and she had changed so much over the years, but she hoped she would still be able to reach the side of Bellatrix that still had a heart, that still cared. "Please Bella, I need to do this."

She could see in her sister's eyes that she still hated the idea, and the battle was probably still not over between the two of them over this, but it seemed she had managed to partly win her over, as Bellatrix sighed once more and said, "All right, but I'm coming with you."

Narcissa couldn't help but give a small smile before she was reminded of the task she had to do, and she became serious once more. At least she still had her sister, for now.


	12. 1997: Malfoy Manor

_Apologies for the slightly delayed update, Uni work has officially settled in now and there's been lots to do! However this story only has a few chapters left so hopefully I will be able to get this finished by the end of the month for you all :)_

_This chapter is for Nimbus Centaur, who said they would like some more fluffy moments between Lucius and Narcissa to show that they still care. I'm concerned that I may have diverted from that a little bit when writing the chapter, and it's probably very cheesy, but I hope you still enjoy it all the same :)_

_This chapter is sort of set between The Half Blood Prince and The Deathly Hallows and it's a short one, but I hope you all like it :)_

_Reviews much appreciated :)_

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Chapter 12

1997

Malfoy Manor

Things were changing in Malfoy Manor. There was a rush of activity, the usually quiet house was full of Death Eaters rushing back and forth, making sure everything was in order, everything was perfect. For the Dark Lord was coming to stay. Narcissa watched all of this from a distance, her eyes giving nothing away as she watched her house transform. Lucius was beside her, so afraid he was trembling.

Narcissa felt like everything had been turned on its head, their quiet world had been turned upside down and shaken like a Muggle snow globe. Usually she was the one who felt afraid and worried, while Lucius stood tall and proud and pretended that there was nothing to fear. Now her husband was the one who was scared, and it was she who had to keep everything together. She could appreciate now how difficult it was, and there was always so much more behind the cold eyes, but someone had to try and keep their shaken world together.

At least Narcissa had her family back. The Dark Lord had graciously released Lucius from Azkaban and had not killed Draco, despite the fact it was not he who had killed Dumbledore. The three of them were together again just like the old days, while everything else around them changed.

Narcissa couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness when she heard that Dumbledore had been killed. Yes she had not liked him as a Headmaster, his wishes for the school did not match her family's, but that did not take away the fact that he was a great wizard, he was wise and powerful and may have been the only thing holding Voldemort back. Now, there was no one. Just rumours that Harry Potter might be the chosen one, but he was no more than a boy, how could a boy take on the Dark Lord if one of the greatest wizards of the age could not?

Draco never wanted to talk about what he had seen in the tower the night his old Headmaster died, Narcissa wished he would, witnessing death is not easy and she wanted to know the reasons why her son looked so shaken and felt the need to hold him close.

The only thing he muttered was, "He was right, he said I never could kill him." And Narcissa silently thanked Dumbledore for seeing the good in her son.

But now there was little time for mother and son talks and pondering on those who were lost, the new order was beginning. Surely now no one would dare challenge the will of the Dark Lord? Who had now decided to come and stay at the Malfoy's.

Now they would never be able to escape his terrible red eyes, now he would know everything they did and they wouldn't go a moment without him or another Death Eater. Lucius may have been released from Azkaban but now they were all prisoners in their own home.

Narcissa had to hold onto the little things though. Her son and her husband were here, right beside her, and that was what mattered now; keeping them close.

"This is all my fault," Lucius whispered to himself. Despite no longer being in prison, his well being and appearance had not changed, as if he was still there. If anything, since he had left the safety of Azkaban walls his face had grown paler and more haggard with worry. His robes were crumpled, he no longer bothered to shave and there was dark stubble across his chin, but he didn't even seem to notice. His eyes were wide and there were heavy bags under them from nights of lying awake, thinking of what was to come. As he watched his house being transformed into the home and meeting place of his master, Lucius' hands started to shake.

It was a shameful thing to see; a Malfoy in such a state, but Narcissa did not judge. Instead she put a comforting hand on her husband's trembling hands and squeezed them tight, to remind him that she was still there. He looked up at her and gave a weak smile, she returned a brave one. Despite the fear and worry in his eyes, she could see something there that was usually hidden before and after the Dark Lord had fell and they were usually so cold - she could see love. After all their family had gone through, after all the doubts and hardship Narcissa had had, her husband still loved her as he had always done since their childhood days since Hogwarts. It had always been there, just sometimes it had been hard to see. And she loved him too.

"There is no time to blame and point fingers, no is not the moment." Narcissa said sternly, she didn't want to pick sides, to say if it was better to side with the Pheonix or the snake, to decide who was in the right or the wrong and who had put them in this position. What they needed to focus on was surviving. The Dark Lord would want to use them, probably shame them for their many mistakes, but the house of Malfoy would not break so easily, Narcissa would make sure of it. She placed her free hand on the shoulder of her son who was standing on the other side of her, Draco also looked pale and haggard, but not as much as his father. "What we need to do is stay together, support each other, as a family." Narcissa explained in a perfectly calm voice, and strangely, she did feel calm. She had accepted what was happening to her home and her family, and she was determined not to be buried by it. They would survive whatever would come next, and everyone would know that she was not weak or afraid by it.

"What would I do without you?" Lucius whispered after a short silence, Narcissa noticed that his hands had stopped shaking. Rarely did her husband speak words of such affection, but since the night he had failed to collect the prophecy they seemed to have increased. A renewed bond had formed between husband and wife, one that was much stronger and more loving than the one they had had ever since the dark day they had lost a daughter. In a way, their failings and the return of the Dark Lord had at least benefitted them by bringing them together, and that thought provided Narcissa with some comfort.

"We need each other now," she said, looking from husband to son. How alike they were, in their appearances and in their fear as they both swallowed nervously and nodded in agreement. The Dark Lord would not make their lives easy, he will still want them to pay the price for their failures, but he must not know that he was succeeding in breaking their spirits. Darker days were ahead for everyone, but when Narcissa stood with her husband and son she could still see a glimmer of light.

At that moment a Death Eater, one Narcissa couldn't quite remember the name of, but to her a lot of them looked the same with their hooded cloaks and dark eyes, approached. She stared at him unblinkingly, as if challenging him to address her in her own home.

"The Dark Lord will soon be here, and he requests a meeting as soon as he does," the Death Eater said in a gruff voice.

"Thank you," said Narcissa curtly, as if this piece of information did not trouble her at all. She had already planned everything out: just keep staring straight ahead during the meeting, show no emotion even if the Dark Lord spoke directly to her, keep Lucius and Draco close by and obey every word. If all goes well, maybe Voldemort would start rewarding them instead of punishing them. "In that case we must make sure everything is ready and the Dark Lord will have the meeting he needs."

With that Narcissa strode across the hallway, Lucius and Draco following behind her, as she pretended to make sure that everything in the house was ready for the moment the enemy and the ally stepped into her house to stay.

_Yes,_ Narcissa thought to herself as she made sure she kept her head high as she walked, her eyes cold and fearless as strangers came and went and the world transformed around her, _a lot of things are changing in Malfoy Manor._


	13. 1997: Questions

Chapter 13

1997

Questions

"Is he dead?"

_Is he dead? _That was the question. The question that the spirits of fate had placed before them all, the one which will change the course of the world's future whichever way it was answered. It was perhaps the most important question that the Dark Lord would ever want to know the answer to. The same question that hung in the air all around them in the deadly silence. Time had frozen within the forest as the Universe waited for the answer. Everyone was too afraid to find out themselves, but there had to be a volunteer.

And that was how Narcissa Malfoy found herself kneeling beside the body of Harry Potter, her hand on his chest, time still frozen around her as the Universe continued to wait in the defining silence. She could hardly believe what she could feel. She had been right there to witness it, the Dark Lord crying out the killing curse, the flash of blinding green light, Harry Potter falling silently to the ground. It could not have been a trick, an elaborate set up. Yet the boy's chest was steadily raising up and down under her hand, Narcissa could almost see his breath escape his mouth as he lay there on the cold forest floor.

The Boy Who Lived was still alive. Harry Potter had somehow survived two killing curses by the Dark Lord, who now looked so weak all of a sudden yet no one dared to admit it. He would not like the answer if Narcissa told him the truth.

So now the true question was, what next? Suddenly Narcissa realised the Universe was not waiting for just any old answer, it was waiting for _her _answer. The spirits of fates' question was left for her to answer and her alone. And she had two options: to tell the truth or to lie.

But which one?

Narcissa had seen a great many things that night. Things that would probably haunt her nightmares for years even though she already longed to forget about them. Hogwarts, the school everyone loved, even Voldemort himself, under deadly attack. Walls crumbling to the ground, cries of pain filling the air and flames reaching up to the black sky. Jets of light shot from all sides and bodies fell to the ground. More children had died that night, Narcissa had stepped over their bodies. In the few moments of silence during the battle she could hear cries of mourning and horror from the survivors as they found what remained of their loved ones. The sounds ripped at her heart, it lay torn around her feet as she stepped over the rubble and the bodies, wand held limply in hand.

She never wanted any of this to happen. Many of the corpses were mere children, their pale faces wide with shock, for despite being in the middle of a battle they still didn't see their fate coming. This was what affected Narcissa the most. These poor, brave children, never having a chance of life, just like her little girl who had been taken away from her so many years ago now. So long ago and yet it still hurt. No matter which side you fought on, which blood ran in your veins, it would still hurt.

And what of Draco? That was the worst part. Narcissa knew he was in Hogwarts but she hadn't seen him all night. Was he still alive, still fighting? Or was he lying amongst the dead? There were so many casualties she might not have even realised she had stepped over the body of her own son.

When that thought overcame her Narcissa wasn't sure how she remained standing, for the idea that her precious boy was lying dead somewhere around her and she didn't even know, made her world crumble into pieces. For there was nothing without her child. No war, no Dark Lord, no Harry Potter, nothing else would ever matter without her son.

At this point an idea clutched at Narcissa's heart. She knew it was out of sheer desperation, but she longed to know where her son was, even if it was the answer she was dreading, it would be an answer. And someone who had known him at school, who had fought within the castle that night, might have seen him, might know his fate.

Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived, the boy who went to Hogwarts, fought within Hogwarts and whom her son hated, was lying right before her, still breathing despite so many impossibilities. He might hold the answer.

Narcissa leaned forward, she was so close to the boy's face she could feel his small, shallow breaths against her cheek. In the smallest whisper she could muster she hissed:

"Is he alive? Draco, is he alive?"

And the quietest voice, one that sounded like it was a little more than a breath of wind, replied:

"Yes."

_Yes._ The answer Narcissa had been hoping so desperately to receive, but feared so much she would not. She wondered for a moment if the Potter boy was lying, perhaps he said so in the knowledge that it would appease her and in her moment of relief she would save him by trying to save his life. Harry and Draco had never been friends, how could she know that her son was in actual fact lying dead beneath a pile of rubble somewhere, while the Boy Who Lived wanted to keep on living so had decided to lie?

No. There was something about his response that told Narcissa deep down that he was telling the truth. This was no time to lie, if the boy wanted to live so much, why would he walk to his own death? He had done it to protect his friends, his loved ones. He would know how she felt, they shared the fear of losing someone so dear to the heart, he would not lie to her. There was no trace of a lie in his voice, no matter how short and quiet his reply.

So yes, Draco was alive. Her son was_ alive_!

Elation filled Narcissa at that moment, but also worry. Draco may be alive, but he was still somewhere in the castle, he could still be in danger, she had to find him. The only way however that she and Lucius would be able to find him was when Voldemort's victorious army stormed through the castle and the battle had ended. In which case, she would have to be the one to lie.

This new thought brought new fear and questions to Narcissa's mind. Lie to the Dark Lord, was that even possible? If he found out she was lying she would be severely punished and she would never be able to find her son. He would probably wipe out the whole Malfoy line for her sins and she would be helping no one.

She had brought up to hate the blood traitors and Mudbloods, the people this boy lying before her probably loved and, if he remained alive and won, would be free to do whatever they wished. Narcissa could almost feel a new battle going on inside her. Nuture versus nature.

Go with nurture, what her parents would want her to do. Tell the Dark Lord that the boy wasn't dead, and he would finish him off once and for all, bringing in a new world of pure bloods which suppressed the Muggles and destroyed the Mudbloods, the world that the Malfoy and Black family had dreamed of for years. But if she told the truth, how would she able to find her son? The battle would not yet be over, he would still be in danger, nature was telling her that she had to find her son and she had to protect him. Forget what her parents had said, the survival of her family was what was most important.

And Narcissa knew, deep down, that she had already made that decision. For years she had questioned the perfect world everyone else had always dreamed of, she had lost family members and children had died because of it. The new world the Dark Lord promised was far from perfect and it would not be her paradise, it had been one sacrifice too many.

Family however, was what truly mattered, family was the side on which she stood and had always stood, no matter what troubles she had come across in the past. If lying to the Dark Lord would protect Draco and destroy the perfect world that was steadily growing more tarnished in her mind, than lie she would.

But it is easier thought than said, lying to Lord Voldemort. Despite the battle ceasing, this was the most dangerous moment in Narcissa's life, and it was the most important one. She had to make this decision.

All of her questions had been answered: Harry Potter was alive, as was her son, and the next thing she had to do was tell the Dark Lord whatever she wanted. The fates were leaving it up to her to make the final choice.

As Narcissa straightened up, she felt like she had been kneeling on the ground beside the boy for hours, and it probably felt like hours for the ones standing around watching. In reality all these thoughts, feelings and questions had rushed through her mind within a matter of seconds. Now she was back on her feet and turning to look at those all around her, her final decision clearly in mind and the answer on her lips:

"He is dead!"

In that moment time stopped once more. Narcissa couldn't bear look into the Dark Lord's eyes, because he would see that she had told a lie. But she had to know his reaction, whether he could see right through her or couldn't penetrate the steal wall that she had set up in her mind, the one thought going round in her head keeping it strong and tall:

_This is for Draco, do it for Draco._

The Dark Lord suddenly smiled and the silence was destroyed as cheers erupted all around. He believed her, everyone believed her. They thought they had won, but in reality the battle was only just beginning.

Almost everyone believed her. Narcissa saw Lucius staring at her, and she could see in his eyes his disbelief. He knew that she was lying, he knew that Harry Potter was not dead and she had chosen the side of the blood traitors and Mudbloods. But there was also understanding, and as he gave a subtle nod, Narcissa realised her husband would have probably done just the same. For their son, to prevent their tarnished paradise from becoming reality.

Relief swept over Narcissa as she realised she had made the right decision, and now she and Lucius could go and find their son.

As Narcissa walked away from the body she knew perfectly well was alive, she would never know how much she was like Lily Potter in that moment. Because they were both mothers who were desperate to protect their sons, who knew family would always come first, and would cause the fall of the Dark Lord because of it.

* * *

_So, this was the moment I'm sure you all expected me to write - the moment when Narcissa decided to betray to the Dark Lord and tell him that Harry Potter was dead. I'm sure this scene has been done plenty of times before as fanfictions, so I hope I did it justice :)_

_This also means that we're reaching the end of the books! But there are still a couple of moments left..._

_Please review :)_


	14. 1997: Nadia

_This chapter was a rather spontaneous idea that came to me a couple of weeks ago and I thought it would be appropriate to have as one of Narcissa's moments, so I added it in. Hope it works!_

_This scene continues pretty much straight on from the last chapter. I hope you like it._

_Please review :)_

* * *

Chapter 14

1997

Nadia

Narcissa's pace slowed on the way back to Hogwarts. Everyone else marched before her, cheering and shouting and shooting sparks from their wands. The atmosphere was one of elation and relief, but she felt totally closed off from it, as if she had been trapped inside a bubble and everything had become muffled. Although Narcissa had good reason to get back to the school as quickly as possible too, as that was where she would find Draco and she would finally know that he was safe. But something was holding her back and she took slow, steady steps, instead of quick and hasty ones. Her mind wandered to strange places, thinking of the forest she was in, the trees looming over her, watching her with unseeing eyes. They would know what she had done that night, betraying everything she believed in, for another human soul. It was worth every second of the consequences that might come because of it, but Narcissa couldn't help thinking of the moment over and over again that everything changed for her, her voice echoing in her mind:

"_He is dead."_

Her eyes remained fixed on the ground as she walked, her mind whirring, until something glinted out of the corner of her eye, and Narcissa hesitated.

There was something lying amongst the earth and dead leaves. She didn't know why, but Narcissa felt as if she was being pulled towards it, her body was aching for it, and her hand was reaching towards it before her eyes worked out what it actually was.

A stone, a tiny, tiny stone. She could hardly believe she had been able to spot it in the darkness, but this stone was brimming with power, she could almost see its magic shimmering in the air, her senses had caught hold of it and wouldn't let go. She knew it was much, much more than just a tiny stone.

Narcissa picked up the stone and straightened up again, weighing it in her hand, examining it closely in the dimness. She could feel it still, an instinct telling her that this was an important, powerful stone. She had no idea what it was or why it was so important, but her soul seemed to understand, and she watched rather than controlled as her fingers closely took the stone and turned it over three times.

A shimmering figure appeared before her. More than a ghost, less than a physical body. Tall and beautiful with long dark hair like Bellatrix's, light blue eyes like Lucius' but with the determination and gentleness of Andromeda, and a smile just like Narcissa's as she smiled and said,

"Hello, Mum."

Narcissa stared, her heart beating wildly, about to burst with disbelief and joy and sorrow. She rushed forward to hug her daughter, but her hands touched only air. The young woman in front of her looked very sad at that moment.

"I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. But it's good to be able to talk you, mother. For years I have watched you, and now I can speak to you."

Hot tears burned Narcissa's eyes and ran down her cheeks, but she hardly noticed them. "You're...you're my..."

Her daughter nodded. "I am and always will be, yours."

Narcissa cursed herself as she realised she was lost for words. How many opportunities would she have for a moment like this, to speak to her long lost child? And yet she could find nothing to say. There were too many things that could be said and they blocked each other on the way up to her throat, so all she could do was choke out a, "How?"

Her daughter looked down at the stone in Narcissa's hand. "The resurrection stone. A boy dropped it here, I suspect he thought no one else would ever find it in the forest. But when you want to see a loved one so much I suppose you are drawn to it."

"I have...I've been wanting to see you again for so long..." Narcissa managed to say.

"I know," her daughter nodded, her beautiful eyes looked terribly sad. "I've been watching you for nineteen years and wished I could stop your tears, the veil between this world and the next is transparent but not permeable. I couldn't reach out to you, not unless some very powerful magic is used."

"You've been with me, all this time?" Narcissa wondered out loud. All those moments she felt totally lost and alone, was it possible that that was merely an illusion, for it turned out she was never completely alone?

Her daughter smiled, "I never left you."

"You're...taller than I remember."

A laugh like bird song escaped her daughter's lips. "Yes, I've grown since we last met, I couldn't stay a baby forever, I grew like my brother."

"I've missed you, we all have," Narcissa admitted, more tears spilling down her cheeks, each drop a mixture of terrible sorrow and beautiful happiness, but she couldn't feel them.

"I know. I've missed you too. I've watched you bring up my little brother and spend time with my father and make the most dangerous and important decisions of your life. I always wonder what it would have been like if I had stood by your side the whole time, if I followed my brother to Hogwarts on your side of the veil rather than the other, and been able to visit my father in Azkaban in person, if I could hold you when you cried. But I never had the chance."

At these words, Narcissa broke into uncontrollable sobs. She suddenly found her knees were leaning on the cold, soft earth, her head in her hands, but she didn't know how she had got there. If she had moved her hands away from her face she would have seen the look of shock on her daughter's face as she knelt down with her mother.

"It's...it's my fault. I'm...so, so sorry." Narcissa stuttered.

"What's your fault?" Her daughter asked hurriedly.

"That...that you weren't by our side." Narcissa managed to say in between her sobs.

"Oh mother, you must never, ever think that," said her daughter, and Narcissa looked up to find herself face to face with her precious little girl, who was no longer the baby she had seen taken away in the hospital. "It was not your fault, none of this was ever your fault, no one could have stopped it. You mustn't blame yourself. I don't blame you, I'm _proud_ of you."

Narcissa took a rather undignified sniff and stared into her daughter's eyes, so close and so alike. She longed to try and reach out and hug her girl again, but she knew it would lead to more heartbreak. The stone was not that powerful. "Really?"

Her daughter nodded. "You have made some very difficult decisions, but you have made the right ones. Now the Malfoy house will recover from its disgrace and the world will be saved from the darkness of Lord Voldemort. When you are dead you see things very differently, your gaze can widen over so many horizons, and you can see what truly matters, and that the only blood that is important is the blood of your friends and family. You have seen that when so many other people might not have, and you protected Draco, just like you promised him when he was a baby."

Somehow, Narcissa found herself smiling. "To hear you say that...it means so much to me. I have so many regrets, but at the end of the day, maybe I did make the right decision."

Her daughter smiled too, "You did, and you should never feel guilty about what happened to me. Sometimes, you have to let things go."

Narcissa knew what was going to be said next, but she didn't want to hear it. She had only just found her daughter after so many years, she did not want to lose her again. "Can't you stay with me? If I have the stone, I can-" but the look of disappointment and sadness on her daughter's face made her stop.

"You could keep the stone, you could keep me with you in this shape. But I will never truly be here as a whole. I belong in another world, not this one, and it would only break your heart to see that I am not truly happy in the world of the living, because I do not belong. I was always with you, you just couldn't see me. But now, you will know that I will be by your side until your time on this world also reaches its end. It's best to leave the stone behind and all that you most regret in life. You can let go of your sorrow you have kept buried so deep inside and not let anyone else see. You have nothing to blame yourself for, and there is no reason to feel sad anymore."

Fresh tears trickled down Narcissa's face, but she knew her child was right. She wanted her daughter to stay, but perhaps she was never meant to stay in this world in the first place. It wouldn't be right to force her to remain here when, after all, she had been there all along.

She had to focus on those still in the world of the living and she had another child to find, she couldn't delay for much longer. So she nodded.

"Don't forget, I'm not really leaving, because I never left in the first place," he daughter added quickly.

Narcissa nodded again, then she finally found her voice once more. "I never even knew...what is your name?" She asked.

Her daughter smiled, "My name is Nadia."

Narcissa just about managed to smile as she replied, "Yes, I think that is the name we would have chosen, my dear Nadia."

And as the stone fell from the limp hand, Narcissa's daughter smiled and blew her a final kiss before she vanished.

But Narcissa couldn't just leave it there. There was one more thing she wanted to do before she fully parted with her daughter.

She couldn't let anyone else find the stone, for the pain and greed it brought about was too much, even though she was so happy to be able to see her daughter again, but she would do what her child advised. So she knelt down to the ground, and started digging with her hands in the soft, cold earth, not even noticing or caring that it was such a Muggle thing to do. She stopped digging when she was satisfied with the hole she had dug, and then placed the stone into the hole, covering it with dirt.

In this small moment Narcissa was burying every painful moment she had ever felt without her daughter, she was burying the sorrow and the guilt she had felt for so long. She was burying the times she had felt so angry and suspicious with Lucius, when really the man she loved was feeling just as guilty and sorrowful as she did. She was burying the past, so that all that mattered was the future, knowing that somewhere her Nadia would be watching, and probably smiling.

She got up and brushed the dirt of her hands, just as she heard someone call her name.

"Narcissa! Narcissa where are you?" Said the frightened voice of Lucius, just coming into view from behind a few trees.

Narcissa stepped forward. "I'm here," she called back softly and surprisingly calmly.

Lucius gave an exasperated and relieved sigh when he saw his wife standing there, he rushed to her and embraced her. "I didn't see where you had gone, I thought I'd lost you...we need to get back to the Dark Lord and the others, or else he'll get suspicious, and we need to find Draco."

Narcissa nodded in agreement. "Yes, I know, we should go-"

"Are you all right?" Lucius asked suddenly, stepping backwards and observing his wife in the dimness. He saw how pale her face was, still scarred with the many tears she had just cried. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, Lucius, I'm fine now."

"You look as if you've seen a ghost," her husband added.

Narcissa shrugged as if it was nothing. "Perhaps we are surrounded by ghosts Lucius, but don't worry about me," she added as she saw the startled look on his face, "I'm fine. In fact, I've not felt like this for almost nineteen years, but we need to find Draco now."

Lucius still looked rather startled at the change that had come over his wife, but he didn't question her. Instead her held out his hand, Narcissa took it and together they rushed through the trees of the Forbidden Forest to find their son.


	15. 2000: Happy Endings

Chapter 15

2000

Happy Endings

Narcissa brushed down her dress, as if it was covered in bread crumbs, and checked her hair once again in the mirror. She didn't know why she was feeling so worried about her appearance, the person coming through the door any minute now would not care what she looked like, but she supposed she just wanted to make a good first impression, and it had been so many years since they had last set eyes on each other. She wanted everything to go well.

Three years ago almost to the day, the Dark Lord had fallen for the last time. Very few people would ever know the role Narcissa had played in those defining moments, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that at the end of the day the Malfoys had chosen the right side, Draco had been found safe and alive and they were not punished for being on the side of the Dark Lord. The Malfoy family was able to shake off its disgrace and stand tall and proud once more as they realised that what was past, was past.

But it had not been all happy endings that day. Many had died, including Narcissa's sister. She was terribly sad when she heard the news about Bellatrix, but somehow she realised that her sister's fate was inevitable. She would die for the Dark Lord if she had to, she would stand by his side until the end. And she did just that. In a way, she felt proud of her sister for keeping her word.

They had a quiet funeral for Bellatrix, burying a loyal Death Eater with such respect would not have looked good to the outside world, but Narcissa couldn't let her sister simply rot in an unmarked grave, so alone and unloved. Bellatrix had changed so much in the last few years, becoming more fanatic and violent as the Dark Lord grew in power, and Narcissa had felt the two of them growing apart ever since she had returned from Azkaban, but she was still her sister. She was still loved.

Now Narcissa had lost another sister, she refused to lose both. So many hatchets had been buried since the final battle, as the Muggles would say, there was space in the earth for one more.

It hadn't been easy, finding Andromeda. She hadn't heard from her in so long she had no idea where she lived, even if she was still alive. But once the world had settled back to normal after the battle and Bellatrix had been buried, Narcissa had set about looking for her.

It had taken almost two years, but finally Narcissa wrote a letter to where she thought Andromeda was and her dear sister replied to it. Her writing looked almost just the same as it did when they would write letters to each other when they were young. It filled Narcissa with relief and memories, and also joy, as Andromeda was happy to see her sister once more.

Over the next year they sent letters to each other, catching up on the many years they had missed, before deciding that the time was right for them to meet once more. A date had been arranged, and the day had finally come when Narcissa would see her sister again.

The Malfoy house was full of light that day, Narcissa wondered how she had never realised how the windows could bring in so much light when the sun was outside and shining. She supposed it had always been like that, but she had chosen to ignore it, to suit her mood. So much had happened in her home now. Lies, secrets, imprisonment and torture. Narcissa considered if it would be best if they moved away, but this was not just her home, it was Lucius' and Draco's too, and they wanted to stay. She supposed if people could make amends, so could a house. There could be many days ahead of it that were filled with more light.

Narcissa was brought suddenly out of her daydream when there was a knock on the door. Her heart leapt with excitement but also with nerves at the same time. She knew who was at the door, but she didn't know what would happen when the door was opened. So many years it had been, so much had changed.

She watched as Lucius went to the front door, he glanced behind and gave a her a small, comforting smile before he opened it. Narcissa couldn't believe how supportive her husband was being in this decision, but she supposed he too wanted to bury hatchets. He too had realised what blood really mattered was that of your family and friends, and it didn't matter where it came from or the decisions it had made.

"Good morning, Andromeda, I trust you found the house without trouble?"

"Good to see you, Lucius," came a light and kind voice Narcissa hadn't heard for so long. "And yes, I found the house quite easily, thank you."

Lucius stepped aside and Andromeda came into view.

Narcissa had forgotten how much like Bellatrix her sister had looked. But there were some clear differences too. Her hair was a lighter brown (and Narcissa was sure it had grown lighter since they had last met) and her eyes were different, they were much softer. Age may have given her a few wrinkles and changed her hair, but her eyes remained just the same as Narcissa remembered. She gave the same smile too as she saw her sister standing there.

"Cissy, how good it is to see you again."

Narcissa wasn't sure what the decorum was for greeting a family member someone hadn't seen in so many years, but in that moment there was only thing she wanted to do. She ran forward and hugged her sister tightly. "I'm so glad you were able to come."

"Of course," said Andromeda, hugging her sister back. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

After that the two sisters went into the sitting room and sat down together, just the two of them. Draco and Lucius had decided the first meeting should be between the two sisters, and hopefully it wouldn't be the last, so they decided to give them some privacy.

"How have things been since we last spoke?" Andromeda spoke with such calmness, as if they met up like this every other week. It was comforting for Narcissa, whose head had suddenly become a whirl wind of emotions and thoughts.

"Fine, everything's been fine." Narcissa smiled, and it was true. Ever since the battle, another view seemed to have been added to life. Narcissa knew it was because she had met her daughter that night, something she had yet to tell anyone, and had made the final decision of which side to take to protect her son.

"And how is Draco?" Andromeda added.

"He's doing well," she said.

Andromeda could tell her son had certainly changed after the Battle of Hogwarts, and he admitted that Harry Potter had saved his life. It was another reason to turn away from the Dark Lord, who would not save anyone's child for nothing. Since then she watched as her son grew older, get a job, and grow closer to a girl called Astoria Greengrass, who was from a wealthy, old, pureblood family. A few years ago Narcissa would have been proud that her son had chosen a girl from the right family, but now she was just glad he had chosen the right girl to make him happy. Of course nothing of their future was confirmed yet, but Narcissa could already see what future lay ahead of them. Her son was officially an adult, and was slowly drifting away from her, although this made Narcissa feel sad, it also made her feel content that her son had a happy life ahead of him.

"How's Teddy?" She asked in return.

Andromeda smiled, "He's fine, Harry's looking after him today. Perhaps next time we meet he can join us."

"That would be nice," Narcissa agreed, but the mention of her sister's grandson reminded Narcissa that Andromeda had faced as much loss as she had in her life, but more recently. Both her husband and her only daughter had died three years ago because of the Dark Lord, because of the side Narcissa had once chosen to fight on. Even though she had changed sides and was glad to, she sometimes felt guilty that she had not made the decision sooner, as if somehow she was responsible for the death of Andromeda's loved ones too. Now she had a grandchild to take care of alone, although she had a lot of help from some surprising wizarding families - the Potters and Weasleys.

At this point, Narcissa sighed and lowered her eyes to the ground. "I'm sorry Andromeda. I'm sorry for the hurt our family has caused you in the past, I want you to know that I missed you all the time you were away and I was always thinking about you. I'm sorry for those you lost in the war as well...I never wanted any of this to happen, but I chose the wrong side from the start. I should have been fighting alongside your daughter and son-in-law. I'm sorry it took me so long to see I had chosen the wrong path. But since then I have realised it is now time to make peace with my demons and settle the past, so I can find my beloved sister again."

Andromeda reached forward and took Narcissa's hands, they felt warm and soft in hers. Comforting. Yes, Narcissa had always remembered Andromeda to be a comfort. Someone was determined to do what was right, but when things went wrong, she was there to put your arm around you and would stay there until you healed. Narcissa supposed this was what she had missed most about her sister, a Black who was willing to comfort.

"I never blamed you for what happened to us Narcissa." She said, "and it's a relief to me that we can be sisters again, I thought you would hate me forever because my decision had torn apart a family. We all lost someone in that battle, no matter what side we were on, and I'm glad that you made the choice to turn against the Dark Lord, because now we can leave the past to rest and I hope we can move on and become sisters again."

Narcissa broke into a smile. "I would like that very much."

And as the sisters continued to talk well into the day, about memories of old and new ones they weren't able to share until now, of stories about their children and husbands, Narcissa realised one thing.

The world may be cruel and filled with dark events and darker people, but there could still be a light at the end of the tunnel. She had a happy marriage, Draco was alive and well and she had her sister back.

Despite all the moments of suspicion, worry and heartbreak she had faced over so many years, Narcissa had achieved something she never thought she would be able to: a happy ending.

* * *

_Well, that's the end! I hope you enjoyed reading Narcissa's moments, although I don't think it was my best chapter, I think I gave her the ending she deserved. I just hope it wasn't too cheesy! I've enjoyed writing something a little bit different and taking a sympathetic view of someone who, for much of it, was considered an enemy in the book._

_Thanks to everyone who read, alerted, favourited and, of course, reviewed. It always means a lot :) If you could leave one last review to let me know what you thought of this chapter and the story on the whole, that would be great :)_

_Anyway, thanks again for reading, all the best, Naisa x_


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